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“Yeah, I know,” she smirked. “From the way you were staring at me on the bed last night, you’re definitely not gay.”
“Eat your breakfast.”
She sighed as she cut up her waffle. “You know, I should order some sausage. Might be the only meat I’m going to get my mouth on anytime soon…”
I glared at her. “Would you please shut UP?”
She gave a fake reaction of surprise. “Jeez. Cranky.”
And then she finally gave me some peace and quiet as she ate.
It wasn’t that her talking about sex offended me or anything.
It was that it was starting to excite me…
Thinking of her lying on the bed naked…
The look in her eyes as she unbuttoned my pants and took out my…
Shit.
I could feel my cock getting hard under my jeans.
Good thing I’d jerked off, or it would have never gone down…
And I never would have heard the end of it.
31
As it was, I didn’t hear the end of it, anyway.
We’d finished breakfast and were on our way to our next errand when she asked, “So… how big is it?”
“Like I said, too big for you.”
“I’ll be the judge of that. Do some women not like it? Does it, like, not even fit inside them?”
“Would you please shut the FUCK UP.”
“Whatever. I’m gonna find out sooner or later, even if I have to barge in on you while you’re taking a shower. Although the water’s so fucking cold, I’m sure there’ll be shrinkage.”
She spoke mostly in Italian, so the sentence was, “Sono sicuro che ci sarà qualche shrinkage.”
Just like ‘boomer,’ I didn’t recognize the English word.
“…shrinkage?”
“You know – shrinkage.” She altered her voice as though imitating a frantic man. “‘I just got back from swimming in the pool, Jerry, and the water was cold. There was significant shrinkage – like a frightened turtle!’”
“Who’s Jerry?”
She stared at me like I’d said I’d come from the lost city of Atlantis. “Seinfeld?! Kramer?! Elaine?! George Costanza?!”
“I have no idea who any of those people are.”
“It’s a fuckin’ television show, dude! One of the most famous ones ever!”
“When was it on?”
