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“…okay.”
Alistair stuck out his hand. “Good to have you onboard.”
I shook his hand. “Thanks.”
Although I couldn’t quite bring myself to say, Good to BE onboard.
All I knew was that I wouldn’t have to go back to Afghanistan…
And I could wake up every morning next to the woman I loved.
61
Rachel didn’t get off work until 9PM. She came directly to my hotel, where I had dinner from room service waiting.
She kissed me, then saw the table set with food and a bottle of wine.
“Oh my god, thank you so much,” she moaned as she sat down and took a sip of wine.
“Bad day?”
“Not a good one,” she said as she cut into her chicken piccata. “But enough about my professional woes – what did you do all day?”
Talked to one of your fellow spies and accepted a job offer to kill people for a living.
“Walked around,” I said nonchalantly. “Sat in a café. Nothing in particular.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, and I could see she meant it. “My job – ”
I reached for her hand and held it across the table. “It’s okay.”
“But you’re only here for a few days – ”
“And you’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
She looked at me searchingly. “You’re really okay with it?”
I smiled. “More than you know.”
62
The remaining time I spent in London was a whirlwind of sex and room service. We didn’t even bother to venture outside the hotel; with only limited time, and already having lost one day, every moment together was precious.
The only difference for me was that after my conversation with Alistair, I had high hopes that everything would change for the better.
Rachel didn’t have that reassurance. She was gloomy as usual on our last night and acted a little irritated when she dropped me off at the airport the next day.
“I don’t understand,” she said as we walked up to the security screening area. “You’re way more cheerful than usual when you leave.”
I didn’t want to get her hopes up until Alistair came through on his promise, so I kept it vague. “Because I think things are going to go our way very soon.”
“Based on what?”
“A gut feeling,” I said and kissed her.
She melted into me, and we kissed until I had to go catch my flight.
I had just arrived on base via the shuttle from Linköping when I got a text to report to my commanding officer.
