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He kissed me, and my fears began to thaw even more as I drank him in.
He pulled back and smiled. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you, too,” I said, trying to hold back my worries.
He pushed back a strand of hair from my face. “What’s wrong?”
Should I ask him what he’s doing?
Should I tell him what we found?
Sean’s voice answered.
You can’t tip him off. If he gets spooked and runs, you’re looking at a Section 36.
But I had to say something.
I had to let him know that I was here for him.
If that meant he got spooked and ran, so be it. I’d deal with the fallout later.
“If you were in trouble… you’d tell me, right?” I asked.
He frowned. “Yes, of course.”
He didn’t take the bait.
Time to be a little more ‘on the nose.’
“And this new job of yours… you wouldn’t ever let it affect our future together, right?”
When he answered, he sounded angry. “Of course not.”
I’d had the exact opposite effect I’d intended.
“I don’t want to fight,” I pleaded with him. “I’m just really worried.”
His anger dissipated almost immediately, and he smiled. “I love you. I promise you, this new job will never come between us.”
I exhaled deeply. I hadn’t realized how stressed I’d been until he said that.
“…okay,” I said, and gave him a shaky smile.
I had to bolt a glass of champagne to calm down. It was actually kind of funny: the badass field agent with nerves of steel, who’d killed men with her bare hands – acting like a nervous school girl because her boyfriend might be up to some shady shit.
Part of me hated that. It made me feel weak. I’d never been afraid before, except in moments where I could’ve literally died.
Why was I so afraid now?
Then I realized that before I’d met Lars, I’d never really had anything to lose.
Now it felt like I had everything to lose…
And that terrified me.
I can’t lose this.
I can’t lose HIM.
