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Cutting off all light…
And hope.
89
Rachel
The evening after Lars left, I finally texted him.
I’m sorry for yesterday. Can you please call me when you get this?
I didn’t hear from him.
Three days went by without a single word.
I was furious, even though I knew it was illogical. I reminded myself that he’d told me he would be out of contact every time he went out of town… and that this time, it might be as long as three weeks.
But I was still angry at him.
More than that, though, I missed him horribly.
I went through the motions of daily life – getting up, going to work, coming back home – but all I could think about was him. I could barely sleep, I was so miserable.
Seven days later, I got a work assignment. I had to go to Argentina to take care of a suspected terrorist in Buenos Aires.
So I called Lars.
It went straight to voicemail, indicating that his phone was shut off.
“Hey, it’s been almost a week since you left. I know you might not get this message for another week or two, but I wanted to let you know I’ve been called out of town unexpectedly. I’ll probably be gone for three or four days… and out of contact. Yes, I’m aware of the irony,” I said wryly, “but I didn’t want you to think I was ignoring your calls if you tried to reach me and couldn’t. I’ll call you as soon as I get back into town.”
I paused.
“I love you. I miss you.”
Another pause.
“Call me,” I said, then hung up the phone.
He didn’t call before I left.
Argentina was a clusterfuck and took twice as long as expected.
I flew back into London eight days after I’d left – a full 19 days after our fight in St. James Park.
The first thing I did when I got back to my house was check my personal phone, which I’d left at home.
Nothing.
Oh, there were plenty of voicemails from work, and even a vicious one from my mother – You ungrateful brat, you never call! –
But nothing from Lars.
I phoned him and immediately got sent to voicemail.
“Hey, babe, I just got back into town,” I said with a false breeziness. “I still haven’t heard from you. Call me.”
Another two days went by without hearing from him.
