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It didn’t matter. I made a week-long reservation at a suitably nice hotel – not the most expensive on her list, but near the top – and told her I would email my flight info as soon as I booked it.
Then I settled in for the interminable wait until I stepped on a plane and flew out of Afghanistan…
To her.
42
Gunnar and I flew out together on a military transport departing Bagram at noon. With the time zone differences, we got into Karlsborg – Swedish Special Forces headquarters – at 8PM local time.
The plan was to rent a car early the next morning, drive the three hours to Gothenburg, do what I needed to do, then drop the rental car at the airport and catch a non-stop flight to London.
I used my phone to book the car and plane reservations, then emailed the information about the flight to Rachel. Then I packed my civilian clothes, which I’d left in storage, and crashed in the barracks for the night.
Before I went to bed, Gunnar said his goodbyes. While I was gone, he would be on a week-long vacation in Amsterdam – for obvious reasons.
“I don’t think you’ll need it, but good luck, my brother,” he said cheerfully.
“You need the luck, not me,” I retorted. “Don’t smoke too much weed.”
He laughed. “Not possible! And say hi to Rachel for me!”
“Will do.”
When I woke at 5 the next morning, I checked my email for Rachel’s response.
Hurry up and GET HERE, already!
I can’t wait to see you!
I grinned like an idiot the entire time I dressed. Then I shoved my laptop in my rucksack and ran to catch the bus into town.
I picked up a car at the local Hertz outlet and drove three hours to Gothenburg.
As soon as I arrived, I stopped at a florist and bought two bundles of roses – one red, one white.
Then I drove to the cemetery where my mother and aunt were buried side by side.
It took me a while to find them, but I finally located their graves.
I stood there for a long moment, fighting to keep my composure.
Everything else in my life was so happy, I hadn’t thought I would feel so overwhelmed –
But a tidal wave of emotion crashed into me as I stared at the two marble tombstones.
I laid the red roses on my mother’s side.
“I love you, Mom,” I said softly. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me.”
Then I laid the white roses on my aunt’s grave.
“Thank you for taking care of her, all the way to the end,” I whispered.
After a few minutes of standing there, I finally walked away.
I’d contacted Leif back in Afghanistan and told him my plans. He wanted to see me before I left Gothenburg, so we met for lunch.
He looked older, like my aunt’s death had prematurely aged him. But he also looked happy. He said he’d started dating again and met someone he really liked.
