AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Nope. No more staring.” Mariya snatches the box out of my hand and tears into it. “We’re not going to have an existential freak-out until we know it’s necessary. If there’s a bun in that oven, then you can stare into space and contemplate your future.”
My future.
“Oh my God. I’m twenty-four.”
Mariya frowns. “Did you hit your head last night? Should I ask you what year it is? Tell me who’s president.”
“I’m twenty-four,” I repeat slowly. “I’m not supposed to have kids yet. I’m not even married. I’m not even in a relationship.”
“You’re with Yakov.”
Bless Mariya and the naïve teenager lenses she views the world through, but she doesn’t have a single clue what she’s talking about. I grab the box from her and edge towards the bathroom door. “I’m going to go.”
“What about the test?”
“Later,” I say. “I’ll do it later.”
Or maybe half-past never. Since that’s when I’ll be ready to find out I’m pregnant.
“But don’t you want to know?” she asks.
No. One heaping order of denial, please and thanks.
“Plus, I don’t even have to pee right now.” I smile, hoping it looks more real than it feels.
“There’s juice with my breakfast. You can have that if you?—”
I duck out of her bathroom before she can finish. It probably looks like I’m running away, but that’s okay. That’s exactly what I’m doing.
Back in my room, I lock the door and lean my head back against the wood. Another wave of nausea rolls over me. I force out deep breaths until it passes.
Even when it’s gone, it’s not really gone. My body feels weird. I can’t decide if it’s real or all in my head.
This morning has been just as stressful as last night was. This could be more stress-induced nausea. But it’s never happened to me before.
Then again, I’ve never been kidnapped by a Bratva boss and then almost assaulted by a man who stood me up on a date before, either.
I’ve had a lot of firsts recently.
Like being pregnant. That would be a first.
“Oh, God,” I groan.
Mariya may have a simplistic view of life and relationships, but she wasn’t wrong. Spiraling before I even know whether I’m pregnant or not is a waste of time.
I carry the tests into the bathroom and close the door.
It takes several rounds of deep breathing and pacing across Yakov’s palatial master bathroom before I finally unwrap the first test. I do my business, eyes closed the whole time, then lay it facedown on the counter when I’m finished. Then I spend three times as long as usual washing my hands.
It’s probably going to be negative. Almost definitely, right? Mariya put the thought of pregnancy in my head and it freaked me out. But the chances that I’m actually pregnant are slim.
Sure, Yakov took my phone away, which meant I didn’t have the daily alarm reminder to take my birth control. But I’ve remembered to take it on time. Mostly. One missed pill isn’t the end of the world.
The tension in my chest eases away. Even the nausea seems to be better.
“I’m freaking out about nothing,” I say as I reach for the test.
It hasn’t been a full three minutes yet, but I don’t need to wait the full time just to see an empty test window.
