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“But…” Kayla repeats. “I really think that, now that you’ve put yourself out there again, you should stay out there. I don’t want you to retreat into your little hobbit hole.”
“I may like to snack, but calling me a hobbit is taking it a little far.”
She laughs. “I’m serious. I know a lot of the fish in our particular ocean are misshapen and diseased and like to stick their fish dicks in any hole they can find.”
Yakov bites back a laugh.
“Get to the point, Kay.”
“The point is that there are a lot of duds out there, but if you stick with it, I know you’ll find the right fish for you,” she says. “Someone who is attractive and exciting and kind and all the things you are looking for.”
I have to fight not to look over at Yakov.
Before yesterday morning, he was that guy. I’m a realist, so I knew there was a big chance that things wouldn’t work out. But I had hope. For the first time in two years, I was hopeful that I would find someone.
Now, I’m terrified that I already have.
“If that guy exists, he isn’t moving in the same circles as me. Or I’ve got bad bait,” I say. “All I’m catching out here are old tires and rotten floaters.”
“So there was no spark at all on your date?”
Yakov leans in and snaps his fingers quietly, gesturing for me to hurry up.
“Nope. No spark at all.” I look directly in his eyes. “Actually, the guy was kind of the worst. An unattractive asshole.”
Yakov rolls his eyes as Kayla sighs. “Darn. Well, onward and upward! Maybe we can go out tonight and?—”
“I can’t,” I say a bit too quickly.
“Not for men. For drinks. Just the two of us. Sure, if one of us brings a pad of paper and we start listing out all of the qualities you’re looking for in a guy and then one of us takes that paper home and does some searching online, then that would be fine. But it’s just for the two of us.”
I shake my head. “You’re ridiculous. We aren’t doing that. Mostly because you are going to butt out of my dating life and let me handle it. But also because I’m actually… out of town.”
“What? Since when?”
“Since yesterday morning,” I lie. “I got sent on a work trip.”
“For how long? We’re supposed to do game night at Lottie’s house tomorrow night.”
Oh, God, I almost forgot about that. Maybe getting kidnapped is worth being able to miss that.
“I’ll have to miss it this time. That’s okay, though. The numbers are better if I don’t go.”
“No, they’re not! They’re terrible numbers. If you’re not there, then it’s not even worth showing up.”
I snort. “Come on, Kay. You all couple off and I’m always the odd one out. Last time we did this, you all got drunk and wanted to play Twister. Lottie’s boyfriend made me work the spinner.”
It is aggressively unfun to shout out body parts and colors while your friends grope each other.
“Okay. Fair point. But what if you bring a date to the next game night? Then we’d have even numbers and?—”
“Never going to happen, Kayla. And game night isn’t gonna happen this week, either. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone for. The schedule is… in flux.”
She huffs. “Fine. Do you need me to feed Sir Gregory? I can swing by after work and make sure he isn’t clawing your curtains again.”
Yakov glares at me in a he-better-not-pull-that-shit-here kind of way, but I ignore him. He has more than enough money to replace a few curtains.
“No, it’s okay. I have a neighbor watching him.”
