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Her brow furrows as she thinks. “I was so busy fighting that I didn’t see their faces. By the time Luna was out there, I was on the ground… I was fading in and out.”
My fists clench. I came so close to losing every single person I care about tonight. The reminder of that failure doesn’t do anything to douse the anger burning low in my gut. Sitting here next to Mariya’s bed is hard enough without wanting to storm through the door and set fire to every fucking thing I touch.
“I should have taken care of her. I—I tried.” She hiccups, tears coming faster now. “I did what you would have done, Yakov. Because… because Luna was… she was pregnant.”
The confession tumbles out of her. She buries her face in her hands.
“Luna didn’t want me to tell you because she wanted to do it herself, but she was scared. She was afraid you didn’t care about her anymore. I wanted to tell you, but I thought the two of you would work things out. Now, Akim has her and?—”
“I know.”
Instantly, Mariya lifts her face. “You know what?”
“I know about the baby. Dr. Mathers told me.”
She blinks, emotions flickering across her face too quickly to track. Then, without warning, Mariya leans forward and slaps me across the face. She winces immediately, grabbing her own arm.
“You’re going to hurt yourself,” I warn her.
“I’m trying to hurt you! If you knew she was pregnant, why didn’t you come back for her?”
I grit my teeth. “Nik and I rushed back to the mansion as soon as we realized what was going on. We got there as fast as we?—”
“Before that,” she says. “Why weren’t you there for her before that?”
I’ve asked myself the same question too many times to count tonight. “I didn’t know. I found out right before everything happened.”
Dr. Mathers dropped the bomb on me on the way to Akim’s nightclub. I wanted to turn around. I wanted to go back to Luna. But I stuck with the plan. I kept driving away from her, which gave Akim exactly what he wanted.
I should have gone back to her the moment I knew she was pregnant. I never should have pushed her away in the first place.
I thought I was keeping her safe. Keeping myself safe.
Love is loss. It’s the one thing I’ve always known to be true. If I let myself love Luna, I knew I would lose her. But I tried not to love her and I fucking lost her, anyway. So what the hell is the truth now?
Fuck if I know.
Mariya is still staring up at me, waiting for a response that I don’t have. “When I see her again, I’ll make things right,” I say. “When I see Luna again, I’ll make sure she knows that I’m always going to take care of her.”
Mariya blinks back tears. She’s about to say something when a loud beep issues from somewhere close behind her.
“What is that?” I check the monitors and machines, but nothing looks unusual. “Are you okay?”
She tries to reach around to the table next to her hospital bed, but it’s too far away. Then she starts to slide to the edge of the bed.
I grab her good shoulder. “If you stand up, I swear to God I will?—”
“What?” she challenges. “Shoot me? You’re too late. Someone already beat you to it.”
“This shit is not a joke, Mariya.”
“It is if you laugh.” She smiles, but gently lies back in bed. “Fine. You get the phone then. It’s been going off since the nurse brought it to me.”
I grab the phone from the table and am about to hand it to her when I freeze.
This isn’t Mariya’s glittery purple phone case.
I tap the home button and have to grip the edge of the hospital bed to keep from dropping to the floor at the sight of my brother’s face on the screen.
