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“Good instincts.” She sighed. “I’m not sure what I want in this department, to be honest. We had fun, but every time I think about us dating, and my friends knowing, your family knowing, laying all those hopes and expectations for everything to work out…frankly it makes me nauseated. I’d be boxed in the second anyone found out.”
I gave myself a moment to process the words. The biggest thing that leapt out was that she wanted to date me, and holy hell did that feel like I’d won the fucking lottery. She wasn’t wrong about the rest, though. Allie was my sister now and Luna was her best friend. And Nicky had definitely bonded with Luna through the course of Sidney and Allie’s engagement. They would both want things to work out if Luna and I dated. Which meant for me to have a chance there was only one way forward.
“What if they didn’t find out?”
Secret Luna was better than no Luna. It would be weird to avoid telling people of my good fortune if she agreed, but she was worth it.
Luna quirked her head. “You don’t seem like you could keep a secret. I don’t know how long I could keep a secret like that when I literally work with Allie.”
“So, you don’t want to…” I held my breath, expecting her to put an immediate stop to everything.
“I didn’t say that.”
My heart was about ready to beat out of my chest at her declaration and I gripped my knees hard to steady myself.
Luna lapsed into silence as our drinks arrived and she fussed with the straw, choosing her next words. “You’re cute, but I’m not very good at dating. Historically, people haven’t been great at respecting my boundaries, and my tolerance level for that is at zero. As much as it would bother me to have Allie and Nicky breathing down my neck with their excitement, I also don’t want to hurt you. Based on my track record, that’s a pretty likely possibility.”
“Well,” I said slowly, “I do have to point out that I’m an adult and I could choose to take the risk. Besides, I’ve had a crush on you for months.”
“Oh?” Her eyes gleamed with mischief. “Stroke my ego a little and tell me how many.”
“Coming on a year, maybe? That’s about how long it’s been since we met.” The second I’d seen her for the first time, I’d been entranced. Between her laugh, her smile, that cloud of golden curls, and the snug pink dress she’d worn, I hadn’t been able to look away. She was the embodiment of everything I’d hoped for and everything I didn’t dare dream I could have.
Luna cackled and quickly buried her laugh in her hands when other patrons looked over. “You’re even cuter than I was anticipating. That’s just unfair.”
“Is cute in my favor here?”
Please say yes.
Luna leveled me with her gaze, blue eyes sparkling. “If it was just cute, I would probably say no, but I know you’re secretly naughty and that may have tipped the scales.”
I held my breath as a myriad of emotions played over her face.
“We need rules,” she finally said, and I thought I might pass out from the wave of excitement that washed over me.
I nodded, bright bliss coursing through my body.
I actually had a chance.
How was I supposed to say no when he was looking at me like I was a goddess descended to earth? Sweet boy. He might want to take the risk, but after seeing too many relationships crumble for loved ones, not taking risks like that was exactly how I protected myself.
I couldn’t be hurt if I didn’t get too invested.
I allowed people to lean into the rumor that I was a maneater so their expectations stayed low. It didn’t quite matter that I had been involved with people of all genders and designations at this point, or that I was clear about my boundaries from the start. It wasn’t my fault that not everyone believed those boundaries were real.
Luca didn’t know my history with relationships or any of the various things I’d done and still did that previous partners found objectionable. Several had straight up demanded I quit one of my jobs because they didn’t like the duties involved.
Part of me was tempted to spill it all out and get his judgement out of the way, but the part of me more dedicated to self-preservation didn’t want to know what he would think. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with working weekends as a dancer, or taking clients to the back rooms for the sake of financial security, but the amount of people who had said unkind things about my choices was more than zero.
“What kind of rules?” he asked.
He had those puppy eyes, wide and excitable, like he was two seconds away from launching out of his seat to cover me in kisses, which wouldn’t be so bad if we weren’t in public. It wasn’t how people usually behaved with me. I’d have to keep on my toes with this one.
“I have a few boundaries I lay down before I consider anything with anyone. If you don’t like them, that’s fine, and we can keep things exactly as they are.”
Luca nodded slowly. “I can respect boundaries.”
Others had said the same, but that respect hadn’t lasted long. I wanted to believe Luca was different because I couldn’t exactly deal with him the way I had dealt with others in the past. I had an extremely low tolerance for bullshit with my play partners. The first instance of stepping on my boundaries would pass with a correction, but if it happened again? Fuck that. The moment they pushed, I flung those fuckers into the sea. I wouldn’t be able to do that with Luca, or at least not to the same degree. I could put distance between us, but he was still my best friend’s brother-in-law, and the brother of another friend.
