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“What an asshole,” Luca replied, shoving a bite of kebab into his mouth.
“I mean, I’m not surprised he’s like that. He was a dick when they were dating too, but my sister was optimistic and astonishingly naive after the divorce our parents went through. Not that I’m saying it’s her fault,” I amended. “I love my sister but she’s too sweet and he took advantage of that.”
I had tangled with my fair share of assholes of all genders, but because I kept them at a distance, it was a lot easier to disappear into the night than if I’d gotten myself legally attached, which was another thing I never intended to do.
“Some people are great at finding vulnerable people and exploiting them. I’ve never understood why some people just want to be dicks like that.” Luca nudged his food around with his fork. “What about the baby sister?”
“She’s in her third year at university. Smart as a goddamn whip, but thus far not a lick of ambition.” I shrugged. “I’m not worried about that yet. Most people don’t have a ton in their early twenties.”
“Did you?” Luca asked, his curious gaze surveying me.
“Yep,” I said, popping the p. “I wanted as much money and stability as I could grab.”
I could practically see the questions forming in his head, but Luca only nodded. “Would you prefer I not ask questions about certain topics?”
It was sweet that he wanted to know more about me, and sweeter still that he was boundary-checking when I started to answer vaguely, though I wasn’t sure how to respond. Luca was basically an open book, and I knew from Nicky and Allie that my upbringing had been very different from the Marino children. He wouldn’t understand a lot, and tons more that felt too intimate to share. I could hand over my body to him, but my emotions, memories, and trauma responses? No, thank you.
“Surface things are okay,” I replied. I had already told him too much. He made it too easy to talk, and I’d have to watch myself so I didn’t give away unnecessary details. There were plenty of things about my life that even Allie and my sisters didn’t know. I didn’t need to be spilling all my secrets to Luca when I hadn’t even told them.
“Cool,” said Luca. “So what should I wear to yoga?”
The complete lack of pushback left me staring at him. Maybe he could respect boundaries. I shoved down the swell of warmth in my chest, unsure yet how dangerous that could be for both of us.
SEPTEMBER
“Hello, my little pretzels!”
Luna was impossibly perfect as she stood at the front of class in a drapey blue tank top and navy pants so snug they might as well be a second skin.
“Hello, Luna!” the class chorused.
“We have a new student who’ll be joining us for tonight’s class, in case you wondered who the new face was, tucked away in the back.”
They turned to look at me and I froze under the scrutiny. The class was a mix of all body types and ages on yoga mats, surrounded by props—blocks, bolsters, and straps, Luna had called them as she set me up with my own stash—and ready for whatever she had planned.
“Let’s start out on our backs,” Luna’s voice was quiet but firm, carrying through the studio space. The class obeyed like little soldiers and I followed down to my back. I wished I could still see her, but she must have sensed the desire, since she came floating into my peripheral vision, moving through the room to dole out instructions to breathe and settle into our bodies. I wasn’t a stranger to working out, though I’d never been quite this mindful of what was going on in my body.
It was easy to become drowsy as she dimmed the lights, her voice guiding us through a relaxation until the class kicked into gear. My hips were tight. A simple twist had me struggling to breathe, and Luna appeared, tucking a bolster beneath my knees to ease the movement.
“My class is not ‘no pain, no gain,’” she said to all of us. “Use your supports as needed. Breathe in and come to center. Now, over to the left.”
This time I was ready and used the prop to keep the stretch comfortable instead of overwhelming. When our movements brought us off our backs, we settled into hip flexor stretches that had me questioning all of my life decisions before this point.
“Come on back a bit.” Luna inched my hips backward until she seemed happy with my positioning. “Don’t be a hero, Luca. Ease into things.”
I nodded hastily, focusing on the burn of my muscles holding me in place.
“We treat our bodies with grace,” Luna said as she moved through the class and took up the same posture on her own mat. “We honor what our bodies are capable of in this moment and not where we want them to be, or think they should be, and we seek only the discomfort of pushing our boundaries. If something hurts, please come out of the posture.”
It was a struggle to listen because I wanted to impress her, and also because I hadn’t thought yoga would be that big of a deal. I was pretty fit for the most part, between chasing after dogs, constant physical chores around the neighborhood, and shifts at the gym, but this was different.
Each new posture poked at muscles I hadn’t even been aware of before. It was endlessly fascinating to watch her move. I’d never quite registered how strong Luna was before, but I was gaining a whole new appreciation for the muscles packed into her body. The flexibility I knew about because she’d told me, though somehow I’d forgotten that a person would need strength alongside it to accomplish some of these moves.
As we settled into a new stretch, I groaned, struggling to achieve some semblance of what it was supposed to look like. Luna kneeled at my side, hooking the strap around my foot to make up the extra distance. “Hold on here. Don’t push so hard or you’ll hurt yourself.”
When we repeated the same set of stretches from the beginning of class, I was surprised how much further into them I could get without wanting to immediately die.
“Okay, pretzels, let’s wind down. Onto your backs, use your bolsters if you want to for comfort, grab a blanket if you’d like, and I’ll turn down the lights for a few minutes of relaxation before I let you get back to your lives.” I watched her move through the class, making sure everyone had what they needed, and she tucked a bolster under my knees, giving me a gorgeous smile before flipping off the lights.
