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I snuggled against him when my bowl was empty. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m really glad you have the patience to put up with me.”
“I don’t put up with you. I love you.”
Every inch of me iced over with panic at those three words. I had never said them to a partner before. I didn’t even know what it felt like.
I swallowed hard and surged up on my toes to pull him in for a kiss. I didn’t know how to give him the words he wanted, but I could make it up to him by giving him something else.
I hated my reaction to the words. Luca deserved someone who wasn’t terrified of love. That person wasn’t me, but in that moment I really fucking wished it was.
Seeing the panic in Luna’s eyes when I dropped the L bomb was my own personal hell. I knew it was too early to say, but the words had come out anyway. I just had to pray that my tongue moving faster than my brain hadn’t ruined everything.
Physically, she got closer, but I could practically feel the distance growing in her head. It didn’t matter that the words were true, and it didn’t matter that I wanted to hear them back, because even if they stayed unspoken, the truth would be there. I felt it from her even if she was afraid to acknowledge it. I had to content myself with that until she was ready. And maybe she never would be, but she kept choosing me and I had to have faith she would continue doing that.
If she needed to bury her feelings with sex, we could talk later.
She pushed me back onto the couch nest and I narrowly avoided smushing one of the cats before she climbed up and wrestled my pants down, barely giving me a second of warning before her mouth was on me. Thoughts and worries blitzed out of my head with the hot stroke of her tongue and determined grip of her hand.
If this was how she wanted to cope, I found it difficult to deny her.
I fixated on the sight of those blonde curls bobbing, pink lips swallowing me, and blue eyes that looked up with fire. She collected her hair in a ponytail and handed it right to me before pressing down on my fist in a silent order to take control.
Her soft whine vibrated against the tip of my cock, the sound cutting off as she pushed herself deeper, her tongue dragging back up when I tugged on her hair. I couldn’t focus on anything else but the slow, wet pleasure.
I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking out the unfamiliar ceiling. Each suck untethered me from gravity. All the heavy breathing and tensing muscles made me lightheaded but unable to stop flexing my hips to meet the sweetness of her mouth. Subtle whiffs of mango lemonade teased me deeper into the haze of lust.
One of the cats jumped onto my chest, scaring the hell out of me and making me buck into Luna’s face when she wasn’t ready for me. She pulled away with a cough, glaring without heat at the gray floof.
“Get off Luca, you little cockblock.”
I started laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of having a completely unbothered cat on my chest and an eager girlfriend holding my dick.
“When did we last feed them?”
“I don’t know. How often are cats supposed to eat?”
“I guess that answers that question.”
With a sigh I tucked my rapidly deflating cock back into my pants and climbed off the couch to rustle up a meal for the cats.
Spud and Roscoe screamed the entire time I was scooping food onto plates for them, but they fell silent immediately once they started eating. Luna looked defeated on the nest, one of her blankets from home draped over her head like a veil.
“We don’t have to talk about before,” I said as I approached the nest again and sat down on the edge. “I shouldn’t have said anything, so don’t worry about it.”
Luna groaned, burying her face in the blankets. “Isn’t talking about it the responsible thing to do?”
“Maybe. But that part doesn’t matter. I regretted it as soon as I said it.”
The blanket whipped away, her curls staticky. “What?”
“Not because I didn’t mean it, but because I knew it would freak you out. I don’t think I’ve ever made it a secret that I’m in this deeper than you are, and I’m okay with that.”
Luna pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing at it while she thought. “I don’t know if you are,” she eventually said, her voice barely more than a whisper.
I stared at her for a long while, trying to parse what she meant. “I’m gonna need you to elaborate on that.”
“I feel like I need a drink for this conversation.”
“Do you actually want me to get you one, or is that more metaphorical?”
