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Stella chewed her lip. “You can talk to me, you know, right? I know we haven’t been confidantes for a while, and I know that’s my fault, but I promise I’m here if you ever need me.”
“There’s nothing you can do about this.” And I had absolutely no desire to heap even more knowledge onto the Rodney-is-a-piece-of-shit pile. She already knew he sucked, she was in the process of extracting herself, and knowing what he’d done would only upset her.
She frowned, tucking the bags next to the trash bin that was already full. “I wish I could do something. I hate that you’re hurting and I don’t even know why.”
I didn’t want to tell her that was my basic state of being at this point. We’d both made choices that dragged us apart, and even though we’d spent the last ten-ish years since Nova’s birth trying to bridge that gap, it wasn’t the same as when I’d trusted her implicitly to have my back. Maybe that wasn’t entirely fair to the Stella of today, but past-Stella had made her bed and present-Stella had to keep lying in it. I couldn’t turn off that persistent little whisper in the back of my brain that wondered if she might take things the wrong way. If I told her Rodney had come on to me at the club, had broken into my apartment, would she wonder if something had actually going on? I didn’t want to think she would, but the worry was there nonetheless.
“You know me,” I said instead. “I’m resilient and I’ll figure it out.”
Stella frowned again. “I know you will, but I wish you’d let people help.”
“I don’t have the brain space for this conversation, honestly. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but if you keep pushing we’re going to fight and I don’t want to. I’m sorry.”
Stella didn’t need to know what cycled around in my head about her when the anxiety refused to be silenced.
She surprised me with a hug, holding me tightly. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t push you when it’s obvious you’re not ready to talk. I make the same mistakes with Nova and I’m so scared she’ll stop talking to me altogether.”
“She won’t. I didn’t either. Let’s get some of this work done so you’re one step closer to getting a tenant and can give yourself some stability once you’re free of Rodney.”
“You’re right.” She let out a puff of air. “I don’t want you working too hard, though. You’ve got too much on your plate.”
“My plate can handle it.”
She dropped the subject and we went back to the basement to put in another hour of work before she had to start prepping for the next day with my nieces and the dayhome kiddos.
“Thank you both so much. I’d never be able to do this without you.” Stella hugged me, and then Luca, her smile sweet and misty.
Luca turned to me when we were alone on the front walkway. “Want to grab some tea?”
“Tea sounds great.”
Once we’d departed Stella’s, we ventured to a little tea shop partway between her house and the hotel I’d been staying at. I’d have to pack up my stuff for Allie’s and check out in the morning.
“Did you get the locks changed yet?” Luca asked over his blueberry rooibos.
“Not yet. Avoiding it mostly because I haven’t figured out what to tell my sisters when I give them the new keys. I don’t even feel super comfortable giving a new one to Stella. I know it’s not her fault Rodney took her whole keychain, but he still has it because of her.”
“I mean, that feels pretty fair to me. Impact matters as much as intent, if not more so. I still think report?—”
“No. You don’t know what a nightmare dealing with cases like this can be. I can’t even try for a restraining order because then I can’t pick up my nieces anymore. It’s easier to not. I don’t want my life dragged in front of a jury.”
“Could I come with you when you pick up your nieces?”
I raised an eyebrow. “He’s not going to pull anything with the girls right there. Never has before either until he saw me at the club. Everything before that was gross looks when Stella wasn’t paying attention, casual touches he could play off, that sort of thing. He never did anything I could go to her about, and I couldn’t push for her to break up with him because he failed my vibe check. I wish it were that easy. I always expected he would try something eventually and that’s why I moved out when he and Stella got married.”
“Jesus…” Luca ran a hand through his hair. “I’m even more glad I got to hit him now.”
“You still feeling any effects from your feral episode?”
He shrugged. “Not that I can tell. I popped into the clinic where they did my initial assessment for the study Nicky’s a part of, and they looked me over. I told them what I could remember. My hormones were all still elevated then, but I feel normal now. Maybe they’ll learn something helpful with my stuff being all wonky.”
“How much time do they expect from you for those things?”
“It shouldn’t be too much. I can do the hormone tests myself a couple times a day and drop the kit off each week, and I should be able to answer all their questions online without having to go in. I’ll have to set a million alarms to remember to do it.”
“I’m not the best at taking care of myself, but if you’re gonna be having random alpha outbursts I’d say it’s a good idea to at least figure out how to manage it and make sure it’s not hurting you.”
“I feel fine.”
