AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I stared at him as he grabbed his keys and left. My heart was beating fast as hell. She’s his mama? What the fuck? I picked up my laptop to see the tears falling down her cheeks. She left him when he was only three months old. What kind of mother walked away from her baby? I had so many questions for her. She was obviously an intelligent woman if she’d become a psychologist.
“I owe him an apology and an explanation. I didn’t have an emergency. Well… actually, I did. I was having an anxiety attack. He looks just like I remember Joshua looking forty-three years ago. I was eighteen years old, fresh out of high school when I met him. God, this is so hard. Out of all the people in Houston you could date, you’re dating my son. Leaving him is my biggest regret. It nearly killed me.”
“Then why did you do it? He told me that he didn’t feel one way or the other about it and that he didn’t care to know who you were, but that had to be a lie, judging by his response to your revelation.”
“I would much rather tell him first. I should have reached out when Joshua died, but I didn’t know how to. I mean… I was afraid of his rejection. I haven’t seen him since he was three months old, but I could never forget him. He’ll be forty-two this year and for almost the same amount of time, I’ve been trying to find things to do to keep my mind off what I’d done.”
She broke down, and it caused a couple of tears to escape me as well. As I wiped them, Joel came back through the door and slammed it behind him. I flinched as he came to me and jerked the laptop from my lap. He stared at her for a few seconds, before saying, “Where the fuck you been?”
“Joel, I’m sorry. Joshua made me leave.”
“Nobody should be able to get you to leave your child behind.”
“Joel, your father would have killed me. We umm… we dated for six months, and he asked me to have his baby. I told him I wasn’t ready for that. We went back and forth about it for another six months when he finally made me an offer. He said he would pay me fifty grand to have his baby, and he would raise you. He needed me to stick around for three months until he got used to having you around.”
“You’re fucking lying!”
“I’m not lying! I agreed to it, but after you were born, I didn’t want to leave you! You were the most gorgeous baby I had ever seen! You had a head full of hair, big cheeks, and the most beautiful smile, even at only two months old. When I told Joshua I didn’t want to leave, he told me I had to since he’d paid me. If I didn’t leave, he would kill me. He reminded me that I didn’t want a baby to begin with.”
I watched Joel pace back and forth while staring at the screen. I didn’t know what to do or say to calm him down. He looked like he wanted to teleport to where the fuck she was and make good on his father’s threat from forty-one years ago. I stood from the couch and tried to approach him, but he lifted his hand, halting my forward progress.
“I don’t know why I’m so fucking angry. I didn’t want to know you before I knew who you were. That shit hasn’t changed. You never once tried to find me. You have to know that Joshua died over twenty years ago. Why didn’t you try to find me?”
“I was scared of rejection. I was scared of this. I didn’t want to face your anger. Joel… there hasn’t been a day that I haven’t thought about you.”
“Bitch, fuck you.”
Again, he dropped my laptop and left the room. I picked it up to see Dr. King crying so hard. “I deserved that. Can I get some time, Keondra? This has taken me back to very painful times. There’s no way I can help you with what you’re going through when I’m in turmoil too. I have to go. I’m so sorry. The only thing I can say is for you to talk to your mom. Don’t let things fester like I did. There may be no coming back from it if you do.”
I wiped my tears and nodded. I couldn’t even respond verbally. Feeling Joel’s pain was crushing me. She ended our session without waiting for me to respond verbally, so I closed my laptop and got up to search for Joel. This had to be so fucking hard for him. When I got to the bedroom, I saw the light on in the closet. I made my way to it, but he came out with a duffel bag.
I lifted my eyebrows. “Where are you going?”
“I wanna go to Florida and break her neck for lying on Joshua. Instead, I’m just gonna get a room.”
I frowned hard. “First, how do you know she’s lying? Secondly, why are you getting a room when you have a whole house?”
“Joshua was cruel, but he wasn’t that fucking cruel. I didn’t want to tell you to go home, but since you’re doubting my dad, maybe you should go home.”
“I’m not doubting him or her. However, I met a side of Joshua that scared the fuck out of me. I could imagine she was scared.”
“The fuck you talking about, Keondra? You gon’ stand here and speak negatively about my deceased father? He raised me when her ass ran to Florida. She didn’t give a damn about me. All that shit she said was nothing but excuses. She did nothing to even rectify her decision. Had she not been counseling you, I still wouldn’t know who the fuck she was. I was better off not knowing.”
“Joel—”
“Naw. Get the fuck out my house, man.”
I frowned. “Why are you taking your anger with her out on me? How is that shit fair? I’m just trying to see both sides to help you come to a resolution.”
“You worry about why you not talking to yo’ mama. I don’t need your help with mine. You can’t handle your own fucking affairs, and neither can your therapist, but she has the audacity to try to tell people what to do with their fucking lives. Didn’t I tell you to get out?”
The tears fell down my cheeks. How dare he throw what happened to me in my face? I nodded repeatedly and grabbed my purse. “I see jackass Vegas is back. I’ll go, but I promise you’ll be looking for me long before I look to be subjected to your insensitivity.”
“Whatever. You were exposed to it before, and look where you still are.”
“Nigga, fuck you!”
Before I could stop myself, I smacked him. My hands were already hurting, but he made me so angry, I had no control at this moment. Apparently, he didn’t either, because he grabbed my arm and shoved me against the wall. I felt my fucking arm pop. “You get that one for free. Next time, you won’t make it out of here alive.”
