AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My muscles tense and a tremor travels through my system. A hollow feeling opens in my stomach, and I hunch forward, wrapping an arm around my middle while covering my mouth. Not again. I’m racing towards the bathroom a second later, thankful for the band playing down the street that drew away most of the regular evening crowd.
I slide on my knees in the last stall and hunch over the bowl. My stomach clenches, my back bows, bright yellowish-green acid the only thing to empty until I’m dry-heaving with nothing left.
Large hands gather my hair at the nape of my neck, holding it back and out of the way. Cree rubs soothing circles up and down my spine with the hand not still holding my hair, and oddly, the pressure relieves some of the ache in my abdomen.
“This has to stop, Riley. I won’t stand by and watch you hurt yourself, not anymore. I can’t.” His voice comes out as a growl until that last part when a subtle crack in his walls causes it to break.
My shoulders slump, and I shake my head. How can he put this on me?
Anger rages inside of me, and my spine straightens, my shoulders square. Adrenaline lending new strength to my muscles. I lift my head, looking over my shoulder at the bear at my back. “First of all—it’s not your call, Cree. My body. My life. My fucking call. Secondly, no one asked you to fucking get involved. You’re the assholes who dumped everything, now look at me. This is your fucking fault.”
I finish my little rant just in time for another round of dry heaving to start. Wordlessly, Cree continues to hold my hair while rubbing circles along my spine.
Time ticks slowly by as I continue to heave nothing into the toilet. After what feels like a lifetime, it finally stops, and I curl up in the corner of the stall, hugging my knees to my chest. Cree sits down beside me and gingerly pulls me into his lap.
His dominating action is met with a sad, uncoordinated protest, considering the heaviness that weighs on my limbs and eyelids. His arms wrapped around me tighten, boxing me in closer to his chest. My low moan-whimpers quiet as he tucks my head under his chin, the warmth of his body seeping into my bones and easing the aches.
Silence stretches over minutes before Cree breaks. “Riley, I know you’re pissed at us, and honestly, I don’t fucking care. We care about you, and we want you to live. The drugs and alcohol are a crutch to help you hide from whatever it is you’re running from. If you tell us, we’ll help you carry the past and move forward from it. You have no reason to believe me, but I hope you’ll hear the truth of my words when I tell you—you can trust us.”
Ice fills my veins and emotions as I chuckle under my breath, and forceful tremors cause me to tremble in Cree’s arms. “T-Trust y-you? Th-that’s rich. You broke into my a-apartment, Cree. Y-You went th-through my th-things. Got r-rid of whatever y-you didn’t f-fucking like. Re-regardless of what i-it would f-fu-fucking do to m-me.”
I push off Cree’s chest, and reluctantly, he releases his hold on me. Standing, my legs shake with fatigue under my weight, and I brace myself against the stall. Cree’s hands fist in his lap, and I can tell he’s fighting with himself to not reach out. To let me have this moment.
“Riley, believe it or not, but I do fucking care about what’s happening to you. Withdrawal is a fucking bitch in heat, I know.” His gaze drops to his hands, and in a tone so low I almost miss it, he says, “We all fucking know.”
I know he believes what he’s saying, I can hear the sincerity in his voice, but the part of me that’s in pain right now refuses to believe him. “Cree, look at me.”
Slowly, he lifts his gaze to meet mine. “Really fucking look at me.” I pound my hand against my chest as I speak. “If you gave two shits about me, you wouldn’t be forcing this pain on me. Instead, you would’ve talked to me about it first like a normal, rational person. You would have let me have a fucking say in my life. Worse, right this fucking minute, you wouldn’t be sitting on your ass while I fucking stand before you shaking in pain, trying not to fucking puke my guts out. You’d fucking ease this pain.” Tears run down my face as he just sits there staring up at me, his face a mask of indifference.
“You don’t have a fucking clue, Riley. You have no idea how much I want to take your pain, to wrap you up, keep you safe from anything that could cause you harm again. But in this case, it’s you that you need protecting from. If denying you the things you’re using to hurt yourself isn’t the way, then tell me how to fucking do that. Because I don’t know any other.”
I shake my head, my mind a whirlwind of confusing and conflicting thoughts. My mouth opens and closes with no good reply in sight. A sharp, lancing pain shoots through my abdomen, and my hands instinctively fly to my center. I fall to my knees, and a terrifying scream tears through me. The feeling of my organs being ripped apart giving life to the horrific noise bleeding from my voice.
Cree scoops me up in arms and cradles me against his body once more, trying to soothe my pain. Every small jostle sends a new shockwave of agony through me, and I writhe in his arms. Cree’s finger presses against the side of my neck, and a haze forms at the edge of consciousness. He rests his forehead against mine, his breaths ghosting over my face.
“It’s going to be okay, Riley. You’re going to get through this and come out stronger for it. You’ll see, little wolf, I’ve got faith in you strong enough for the both of us,” he whispers softly in my ear and places a gentle kiss on my forehead before the darkness completely consumes my mind.
Chapter 15
RILEY
“Riley … Riley … Wake up, Riley,” a soft voice singsongs in my ear.
My eyes slowly slide open, vision clearing on an amused Grace looking down on me. “Am I dreaming again? Never mind, don’t answer that. I know I am, because you’re dead.” I close my eyes, rolling to my side, and cover my head with my pillow. “Go away, Grace, I need sleep.”
“You ruin all my fun, you know that?” she scoffs at me, pulling the pillow away.
“Hey.” I grab blindly for the pillow, catching nothing but air as Grace chuckles. Flopping on my back, I glare daggers at her pleased expression.
“And to answer your question—for the hundredth time—yes, sort of. We’re in your dream, but I am here. I am real.”
“So where have you been?” I ask her.
“This is the only way I can reach you. When you’re drug free and asleep. Unfortunately, that’s far and few between these days, so I can’t come to you as often as I’d like.” She brings the pillow to her lap, hugging it to her body as she holds my gaze.
“Well, if the guys have their way, I’ll be drug and alcohol free permanently.”
“Ha, if the guys have their way with you, you won’t be able to walk or talk for a month. They’d have you tied to the bed, gagged, and writhing in ecstasy. Boxed in by all five of those sexy hunks.”
