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I sigh. "He's still in a coma. He may not wake, and if he does, there's a good chance he might not remember me."
She sucks in a breath before rasping, "Crap." I sniffle, looking down at the two most important people in my life.
"Distract me, Ken…how's life where you are? Are you happy?"
She sniffles before admitting, "I'm lonely, Liv…."
My heart aches for her because Doc caused this by being selfish, wanting his cake while eating it, too. We spent about twenty minutes on the phone before she had to go, and I went into my head again.
Memory after memory of Kallie's eyes haunting me.
I killed her. I know it was killed or be killed, but it doesn't make things any easier; it doesn't stop the nightmares or the hallucinations of her standing in front of me, grinning, with blood dripping down her chest. If I look up, she'll be there, holding that knife, laughing at me.
She always is.
A groan brings me out of my head, making me gasp as I stand up, my stomach pulling at the sudden movement, making me wince as I make eye contact with Jonny's piercing blue eyes, making mine tear up.
I wait for the recognition, praying, but there's none.
Oh God….
I swallow hard and murmur, "Jonny…" hoping he'll blink and call me his Freckles, but he doesn't.
Instead, he closes his eyes tight before he croaks, "It's Smokey, darling…" making me let out a sob as he looks at me with a furrowed brow, confusion written all over him, and my heart hurts.
He doesn't know me.
Trying to control my emotions, I limp to his bed and press the buzzer before I look at him again. His brows are still furrowed, staring at me in confusion as he looks me up and down, seeing I'm not in scrubs.
He rasps, "Who are you?"
My heart shatters as the door flies open and Doc rushes in in time to hear the question.
"Fuck," he curses, as the man I love looks over me again, his eyes looking even more confused as he notices I'm wearing his shirt, the black one I have slept in for two years now, even after we broke up.
Two years I spent without him because of my own naivety and stupidity, and now, I've completely lost him.
"Smokey, brother…" Doc rasps, causing him to remove his eyes off me to look at him before my girl stirs and looks up, her eyes widening before glee takes over her features. I go to take her, knowing he won't recognize her, but I'm not quick enough; my injuries still healing, causing my movement to be slower than normal.
April sits up screaming, "Daddy!" making his eyes widen in shock.
I wince at the look of absolute horror in his eyes as Doc clears his throat.
"Uh, Doc? Is there a reason a little girl who looks nothing like me is calling me daddy?"
I blink my eyes repeatedly, hoping I don't cry as Doc looks at me with utter pain, our worst fears coming true.
April's eyes widen before they brim with tears that instantly fall as she cries, "He doesn't memer me," before she scrambles off the bed, running out of the door.
Jonny's eyes fill with guilt, but still no recognition as Snake rushes in. We make eye contact and I shake my head, making his body deflate.
I rush after my girl, Doc's shouted, "Liv! Your leg!" follows me, but I don't stop or listen, knowing my girl needs me.
I can fall apart later.
27
Smokey
