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She’d been crying, but the tears had dried up. Her face was splotchy, and she sat with her knees drawn up to her chin, looking out one of the dormer windows. There was nothing to see—the overcast sky blocked the moon and stars, though the city lights would have blocked most of them anyway.
Sean closed the door and walked over to her. Lucy glanced at him, a sliver of anger slicing through her anguish.
“Dillon’s here,” Sean told her.
“Thanks.”
She stared at him, her dark eyes bright with emotion that she was trying her damnedest to hide. What was she trying to hide from him?
He squatted in front of her chair, trying to understand what she was thinking, what she feared the most. Not the stalker—she was more angry and upset about Cody Lorenzo than scared. It was something else…something more than her ex-boyfriend. It was personal. It was about Lucy.
She glanced away, obviously uncomfortable with his scrutiny. What did that say? That she was scared about his feelings for her? Or her feelings for him? Did she fear he’d walk away because of what happened in her past? Or that he was here only because of it?
How could he convince Lucy how much he cared?
He reached out for her hands, which were clasped around her knees. He pulled her up.
“Sean, I—”
He kissed her lightly, then picked her up and turned around, sitting down where she’d been, but with Lucy on his lap. “I see why you like this chair,” he said. “I may never get up.”
“How do you know I like it?”
He smiled, and motioned to all the books surrounding it. He ran his hand down her face, through her thick hair, holding the back of her head firmly, and kissed her again. This time, he kissed her warmly, using his tongue gently but with purpose, slowly and methodically. The tension in Lucy’s body dissipated and a sigh vibrated in her chest. He had one arm around her back, between the thick armrest and her body; the other he moved from her hair to her arm, then down, slowly, purposefully, to her waist and cradled her.
Lucy couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt such peace, comfort, and yearning. Sean kissed her softly, over and over, no rush, no pressure, just the constant affection flowing through him. She absorbed it, relishing the embrace. She felt wanted, desired. But what gave her the butterflies in her stomach was Sean himself. The way he made her feel both protected and trusted, the way he looked at her as if they shared a secret. The way he touched her. Not just here in the chair with his arms wrapped around her like a hot, muscular blanket, but all the time. With a touch on her hand. When he pressed against her back. Brushing against her arm, as if to make sure not only that she was there, but that she knew he was there. He was the most tactile person she’d ever met. Sean Rogan was also extremely confident—he knew he was smart and attractive, but didn’t flaunt it. But when he touched her, it was almost to reassure himself of something. What? That she was here? That she wasn’t walking away? That she wanted him to touch her? It was endearing and thrilling and even a little scary, but in an exciting way.
“I wish you could hold me like this all night,” she whispered.
“I don’t think I could simply kiss you all night long.”
She swallowed, old fears returning. “What made you think I was talking only about kisses?”
“Why do you sound defensive?”
“I’m not—” But she was. Her greatest fear when she was falling for someone, when she wanted to make love, was that he would shun her. The first time she’d found someone she cared enough about to sleep with, it had been awkward and uncomfortable and he had broken up with her shortly thereafter. It was as much her fault as his, because she should have known she wasn’t ready—and that he hadn’t loved her enough to be patient.
Cody had been wonderful. Sweet and warm, but always cautious. Too considerate. Too careful. Which made Lucy think that he couldn’t dismiss the fact that she’d been raped. And thinking back to their relationship, could she have predicted he’d start following her? That was two strikes—two men she’d cared for who ended up being nothing like who she thought they were.
And what about Sean? Was he who she thought he was? Was she blind, foolish, a total idiot? She hadn’t seen the Cody as Stalker thing at all. What didn’t she see in Sean?
She wanted someone to make love to her, and only her. To not think about anything but the two of them, at that moment in time. She wanted to erase the past and not think about the future for that sliver of bliss that she knew was possible, if only she could find the right person.
“Talk to me, Lucy.”
She didn’t want to put a voice to her feelings, for fear they would chase Sean away. How could she explain them to him without sounding stupid? Or whiny?
“Do you want to make love to me?”
He stared at her. “Is this a trick question?”
“Not right this minute—but in general. If we were alone, would you make love to me?”
“Why are you asking me this? Do you think I’m pressuring you? I’m not—I just can’t stop touching you.”
“I like that.”
“You’re confusing me, Lucy. Tell me what you’re really thinking.”
