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“It didn’t happen.” She frowns and I hold my hand out. “But I’m seeing him again tonight and I do really, really like him.” When Atlas dropped me off at my apartment last night, we exchanged phone numbers and he said he’d be texting me today to let me know the plan for tonight.
“Awww, you’re smitten.”
“Maybe.” I shrug. I don’t have to do much to sell that I’m crushing hard on Atlas; it’s harder to remind myself that this should be an act, not my actual heart on the line.
“What’s he like?”
“Intimidating.” I laugh but it’s the truth. “But also very sweet.” I recall the way he went along with my request to dance after I signed the contract last night. “And so intoxicatingly handsome and smells so damn good.”
I close my eyes, remembering the way it felt to feel his body against mine, to feel his lips at my ear. I fell asleep last night to the fantasy that he wanted to celebrate a different way…
“Girl, I think you might be in love already.”
I open my eyes and realize I’ve slipped into a daydream of Atlas taking me on his office desk. “Nooo.” I shake my head. “Or maybe.” I shrug, realizing I have about nine days before I’m supposed to be getting married so I don’t have time to pretend to play hard to get. I just have to go for it. “Either way, it just feels… right.” I sigh.
“Oh…” Matilda covers her face with her hands briefly. “I think I’m going to cry.” She reaches her arms out and grabs me. “I’m just so happy for you.”
“I’m not married yet.” I laugh as she hugs me tighter.
“I know but there’s something about this one; he’s different.” She pulls back to look at me, her face growing serious. “I mean it, Stella. I feel like he could be your forever.”
I smile at her, fighting back tears of my own because I know that there is no such thing as forever when it comes to Atlas Knight. The only thing he’ll be in my life forever is a memory.
“Hey, you’re seeing him tonight? I thought you were singing—I was going to bring my sis by this week to see you, but unfortunately she had to cancel.”
“Oh yeah. I meant I’m going to see him before the club and then probably after.”
“After—yeah, girl.” She hip checks me, walking up to the counter to help a customer. “Hey there, welcome in. What can I get for you?”
My stomach feels like it’s curdling. If Matilda knew why I was lying to her, she’d understand. She wouldn’t hate me or judge me. Tears prick my eyes again when I start to really grasp the gravity of the situation I’ve gotten myself into.
“It’s for the best. You’re fine, Stella,” I say aloud as I fan myself. I slip into the back, taking in several deep breaths. My head falls against the wall. I wish so bad I had a mom or a sister I could run to for advice. Hell, if I had family, I most likely wouldn’t even be in this situation.
I reach into my pocket to check my messages when I see one from Atlas.
Atlas: I’ll stop by your place after work—sixish?
My heart flutters… it actually flutters when I see his name on my phone. I grunt and stomp my foot like a child, frustrated with myself that I’m letting this stupid crush complicate things. The only thing that can come of that is a shattered heart. I type out a simple response, letting him know that works fine, before sliding my phone back into my pocket and finishing up the last two hours of my shift.
“Have fun tonight.” Matilda waves at me as she walks in the opposite direction down the sidewalk. “And let me know what night you want me and my sis to come see you sing!”
“Will do, see ya!” I shout back.
I hurriedly walk to the train station, making it just in time to catch it. I watch out the windows, my foot anxiously bouncing. I have no idea what I’m going to tell Matilda as to why I’m not at Freddy’s anymore. She knows me too well; she knows I wouldn’t just calmly walk away. She knows I’d fight and I did, but it was no use; his mind was made up. It was like someone else was pulling the strings and Freddy was just the messenger, but I know that’s not true. He’d never let anyone tell him how to run his business, even if it was good advice.
If I could just tell her that me not singing there is merely temporary because I’m getting the money to buy the club, everything would be fine.
I chew the inside of my cheek till it’s almost raw, mulling the thought over and over again in my head as I walk up the four flights to my unit. I battle between convincing myself that Matilda is trustworthy enough that I could tell her and trust she wouldn’t tell anyone and reminding myself that would mean breaking an NDA that I know is most likely ironclad and would result in me walking away empty-handed. I kick myself for not even reading it before signing it.
The hours seem to drag by, my stomach a mix of excitement and guilt. I took my time showering, hoping it would ease my anxiety, but it was useless. I flop back on my bed, looking over at the clock. It’s five thirty.
You have time.
I sit up, pulling open my bedside drawer to look at my vibrator. I shut it just as quickly as if it were going to bite me. I laugh at how ridiculous I’m being and open the drawer again, reaching for the toy. I practically rip my towel from my body and lie back, thoughts of Atlas crawling up my body, snaking his tongue between my breasts before wrapping his lips around my nipple and sucking.
I slide the toy between my thighs. They fall open slightly and I gasp the second the vibrating tip hits my clit.
“Ohhh,” I groan loudly, my back arching as I imagine his thick, strong hands pinning me to the bed as he whispers filthy things into my ears with his raspy voice. His piercing blue eyes stare into mine as my mouth falls open and I cry out my release. I’m trembling, shaking as I keep the vibrator in place when I hear a knock coming from my front door.
