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“I know.” My entire jaw ached from clenching my teeth so tightly. “You’re not going to say anything, are you?”
Gage sighed heavily, leaning back in his chair. “No. You know I wouldn’t do that. Promise me you’ll never do that again, though. At the very least, lock your fucking door.”
“We thought it was locked.” I shook my head. “I won’t be making that mistake again, trust me.”
“You do realise I can never unsee that? I’m going to send you my therapy bill.”
My jaw unclenched, just enough for me to realise how much tension I’d been holding. “I suppose that’s the least I deserve.”
“How long has this thing been going on between the two of you, anyway? Is it serious? He’s…how old is he, Kill? Nineteen? Twenty? And a student.”
“Of course I know he’s a student. He’s twenty. And I don’t fucking know what it is. He’s…fuck.” Groaning, I scrubbed my hand across my face. There was no possible way to explain the unexplainable.
“Oh, wow.” Gage’s voice dropped a few octaves. “The heartless Dr. Wilder caught feelings for someone. I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Fuck off.”
“I’m happy for you, mate. I really am. But you have to admit, you didn’t choose the easy option. This is gonna cause all kinds of issues when it gets out.”
“Which it isn’t because you’re not going to say anything.”
“Be realistic, Kill. You can’t hide it forever. That’s not fair to either of you. You need to decide what’s more important to you. Him or the career you’ve been working for all your adult life. Not to mention, you could be putting his future in jeopardy. Obviously, I don’t know anything about him, but I doubt future employees would look kindly on him having an affair with a lecturer at his uni.”
He wasn’t saying anything I didn’t already know, but hearing it from someone else solidified it.
There was no future for me and JJ, no matter how much I wanted there to be.
23
Stuart tapped my computer screen. “It says right here. I’m paraphrasing, but the application wording basically says a relationship with a student will disqualify you from the promotion.”
“Thank you. I can read.” My jaw clenched as I stared out of my office window, unseeing.
Gage exhaled heavily. “Kill. Listen. It’s just John being stuck in the old ways, adding all the extra shit he doesn’t approve of so he can make sure whoever gets chosen shares his values. I looked it up, and there’s nothing in the rules that says you can’t have a relationship with a student. That line he’s added doesn’t even mean anything. It’s discrimination to stop you getting a promotion for that reason.”
Spinning around, I took in my two colleagues. Stuart was seated at my desk, frowning at my monitor, and Gage was leaning against the wall, his arms folded across his chest.
“Me? Why would it apply to me? Why does it even matter? It’s an irrelevant point.”
They exchanged glances, and I hissed out a breath between gritted teeth. “If you have something to say, say it to my face.”
Stuart cleared his throat. “Kill. We’ve noticed JJ coming to your office. All the time. And you’re hanging around the performing arts end of the campus—we’ve both seen. He was there that night at the bar, too, wasn’t he? We’re just…we’re looking out for you.”
I sighed, defeated. “Gage told you what happened, then.”
He glanced over at Gage, one brow lifting. “No, he didn’t say anything to me. We discussed this last week. Is there something else I need to be aware of?”
“Gage can tell you if he wants to.” Slumping into the chair at the side of my desk, I pinched my brow, attempting to stave off the headache that was threatening to make an appearance.
“Okay, well, he can tell me later. For now, let’s get back to this application.”
I’d read every line of the official application form for the professorship slash head of the business school when it had landed in my inbox on Monday morning. It had been put together by the outgoing head, John Saunders, and the vice chancellor had signed off on it. There were certain expectations that I knew I could meet, but one of the stipulations in the “no conflict of interests” section mentioned that having a relationship with a student wouldn’t be allowed. It didn’t specify whether it mattered if the student was from outside the business school, and I had the feeling that it wouldn’t matter. If I continued this “thing” with JJ, I could kiss any hope of my promotion goodbye, which I’d been working towards for my entire career. It was a double blow after everything that had happened with Gage, making an already hopeless situation completely fucking impossible.
Stuart continued talking. “It also mentions that you’re expected to set an example for the more junior members of staff. Reading between the lines, it looks like they want you to be seen at social events. The faculty dinner is going to be a big one. You need to be there.”
“We knew that was going to be a sticking point,” Gage interjected, and I glared at them both.
“Get out of my office.”
