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“Meeting the friends already?”
“Only if you want to.”
“What do you want?”
My mouth is full of amber as that question rolls from her tongue. One hard swallow later and I’m no closer to a definite answer, at least one I’m ready to share. “Besides you naked next to me? I want you in my life however that looks. Look, Dylan, I’ve been broken as fuck. Outside of the office, the time I’ve spent with you has been the most alive I’ve felt in longer than I care to admit.”
“That’s pretty clear, Elijah.”
“What do you want?” I ask.
“You like to ask me that question, don’t you?” she responds.
“It’s what you should be asked. If it’s not right for you, it’s not right for me, as well as the reverse. I had to learn that lesson the hard way.”
“You blame yourself for her cheating, don’t you?” I suck the rest of the whiskey back, letting it burn back down what was bubbling up. “You don’t have to answer that. I have my answer by the look on your face. I’m here to tell you, and show you, that’s not true. I said she’s an idiot and I meant it.
“There is such a thing as fucking communication. She could have told you she wanted out. She decided to be the worst kind of woman and be all, ‘I’m going to fuck someone else in our bed and get caught instead of talking it out.’ Fuck that. You deserve better. I think you’re realizing that the more time you spend with me.”
She’s right. I am.
Dylan is, without a doubt, the strongest woman I’ve ever known outside of my family. She’s fearless when it comes to speaking her mind and making sure she’s heard. I fold up a bit after she told me I deserve better. She is right. I’m slowly realizing it, but I need more time.
Everything in me wants to stay with her in her apartment. She digs in the back of her freezer for her hidden pint of mint double chocolate chip ice cream and with two spoons we finish it. We talk for a long time about everything.
I tell her about my family and how much they mean to me. She hasn’t had that same experience. All her grandparents have passed, and she isn’t close with her remaining family. She’s also an only child. This leads to a conversation about Hayley.
The longer we talk about her, Dylan realizes she knows her. They’ve had certain classes together the past two years. It is by pure fate they don’t share a seminar this semester. Will was ready to take Hayley, but in true Hayley fashion, she decided that she knew him too well and wanted the separation. She’s so independent and I’m so proud.
“It’s interesting how you talk about family.”
“Why do you say that?” I ask.
“It’s just so different from what I’m used to. Is that what you want someday?”
“For myself?” I look down into the empty pint and give a sad little smile. “Funny you ask. That was the beginning of the end of my marriage.”
“She wanted kids, and you don’t?”
I tilt my head away from her, resting my head on my fingers, as I twist the empty spoon in the cardboard cup. “Actually, the opposite. We were on the same page, at least I thought so, until I found the pill packets in the bedside table when we were supposedly trying.”
Dylan’s hand comes into view, softly stopping the nervous movement of my spoon. “Do you dance?”
“I think you know the answer to that already.”
“Not club dancing. I mean real dancing like USO, nineteen forties big band, slow dance style. Ballroom and shit.”
“I’ll do anything that involves you.”
“That’s not what I asked, but I like the answer. Sometimes when there aren’t words, movement helps.”
I’ve studied words forever. Motivation helps me understand how to do my job better and help my clients achieve their goals. I want to try it this way through her eyes. “What do you have in mind?”
She tugs on my arm and drags me for the first time onto her dance floor. Dylan pulls me in close and calls out to the air around us, “Play mood.”
“Play mood?” I ask.
Her electronic assistant begins to pipe out a subtle vibe starting with Norah Jones. She also just so happens to be one of my mother’s favorites. I lean into Dylan as she leans into me. As I slide my hand into the small space just under her shoulder blade, she runs her hand the length of my arm, resting her hand at the top.
