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This had to have happened because of her.
She’d dug too deep and woken the beast, so to speak.
That was the thought driving her through their pause to make the online purchase, then again when they picked up their gift cards and supplies. She sat in silence for almost a full hour and a half, thinking herself in circles as they closed in on their destination for tonight. She didn’t even have much of an opinion when it came to picking out something to eat. Not to mention the simple act of eating was that much more difficult because she couldn’t get past her guilt. Everything tasted like cardboard and sadness.
By the time they checked into a cheap, roadside motel that looked like it was straight off the set of a serial killer drama, she was willing herself numb.
Samuel checked out the room then waved for her to join him. He’d already carried in everything from the Jeep they’d salvaged while she had their purchases from earlier.
Jessica’s vision narrowed to just what was in front of her. She put one foot in front of the other and made it all the way to the foot of the bed where she set the bags down. They felt so much heavier than before.
“Jess? Hey?” A strong hand grasped her arm and tugged her around. “What’s wrong?”
She let him move her to face him, but it was too hard to meet his gaze.
“Nothing,” she muttered.
Samuel’s fingers pressed to the underside of her chin, giving her no choice but to look him in the eye. A furrow marred his smooth features and his lips twisted up on one side.
“What’s wrong? Does something hurt?”
She rubbed at her chest, but it wasn’t the scars or wounds that ached.
“No. I’m fine.”
“Jess…”
She closed her eyes and did her best to strangle her emotions. “It’s all my fault, okay?”
“What’s your fault? Today? No.”
“Yes. But it is.” Her eyes popped open. “You practically admitted it yourself. These people came after us because I wouldn’t stop digging.”
He shook his head. “No, Jess. This is not on you.”
“But—”
Long, graceful fingers pressed to her lips. “From the moment Daar’s people identified you, you were a target. You didn’t make these people come after you. You didn’t tell them to hurt people. You are not at fault here.”
She didn’t believe his words, but she needed to hear his pronouncement.
“You are a one-woman army. You set out to find the bad guys, they just happened to find you first. You are not responsible for bad guys killing good people. You can’t think that way or you’ll stop fighting. And the world needs fighters like you, Jess. Hear me?”
She nodded and swayed toward him, mostly because she was so damn tired.
His arm wrapped around her waist and he pulled her against his side in a perfectly platonic embrace. She closed her eyes and leaned into it, so damn grateful that Samuel had been by her side through this. She had no illusions about what might have happened to her without him there.
She’d be dead by now if it weren’t for him.
Jessica hugged him around the waist and held on when he might have pulled away.
Just a few more moments.
She needed to soak up the comfort then focus on getting her shit together. Their respite from the world and responsibility was over. He was right. The bad guys had come for them. There was no longer time to recover and take it easy. From here on out, it was going to be tough.
Samuel’s fingers stroked her side, right where she was most ticklish.
Jessica let go of him and quickly side-stepped away from him.
