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“I’ve been thinking about this trip…”
“Okay,” she said quickly.
Samuel licked his lips, already hating what he had to do. “I think, for the sake of the mission and ensuring I can keep you safe, we should put a pin in the… The romantic side of things. Just for this trip. I keep rolling it around in my head, and I already don’t trust my judgment enough. Without a little distance, I worry I am going to mess this up. And I can’t live with myself if I do that. I need to be at the top of my game for you, and I’m not right now.”
Jessica’s face fell and her mouth hung open. She looked like he’d just popped her balloons.
He reached out and slid his fingers along her jaw. “I don’t want to say this, but if I have to choose between acting on how I feel and protecting you, it’s no contest. I’m going to pick your safety.”
“Oh. Alright.” She shook herself a little.
Her disappointment was somehow a balm to his soul. As if knowing they were both disappointed to step back made it easier on him.
She clutched his hand tight. “It’s only for like, what? Two days, right? No big deal.”
He nodded. “Exactly.”
“Just so I’m clear, that means…?”
His gaze dropped to their joined hands. “I’ll move into another room. Let’s keep things platonic. Until we’re back.”
“And then?”
Samuel shook his head. “I guess we figure it out then?”
Jessica launched herself at him. Her free hand gripped his shoulder, turning him to face her more as her mouth crashed against his in a hard kiss. He fell back against the armrest and her body weighed him down in the best way possible. He had an arm around her waist before he realized it, the other delving into her hair as their lips moved together.
He groaned, his confidence eroding as she seduced him with her mouth.
How was he supposed to keep his hands off her for days?
And then she sat back on her heels, staring at him.
“Okay.” Her chest heaved and her eyes were dilated as she licked her lips. “I couldn’t let you go without a goodbye kiss.”
“Christ,” he groaned.
This was going to be the longest few days of his life. But when they got back, he was going to be selfish for once.
Chapter Twelve
Sunday. Task Force Headquarters, Fairfax, VA.
Jessica threw open the room to her very lonely studio apartment. Samuel had only moved his things out a few hours ago. The way she was acting, it was as if he’d just broken her heart instead of prioritized her life.
Robin and Kelsey stood on the other side, their arms loaded down with the list of things Jessica had asked them to get her in preparation for the trip.
“I’m so happy to see you guys!”
She resisted the urge to throw herself at them and instead stepped back to allow them into the room. It felt so empty without Samuel’s things there, and she missed him immensely already. Which was silly. He was close by, just down the hall, and yet it felt like a million miles separated them.
Robin set the things down on the bed on the far side of the room then turned toward her.
“How are you?” Robin asked.
Jessica closed the door and leaned against it. She no longer had the energy to pretend she was okay with what was going on either. “I feel like I got dumped.”
Robin’s face creased in understanding. “I’m so sorry.”
