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Her mind latched onto him. Onto the memory of his arms around her. Of his kiss. Of the strength in his touch. Of his smile, of his laugh. Of his fury.
Of how much she loved him.
And how much she had come to love Avalon.
“I want to belong here,” she whispered to the dream around her. “I want to belong on Avalon—for real. Not because I’ve borrowed someone’s power. Not because I’m someone’s pet human who got dragged here against my will either.”
She took a deep breath, held it, and slowly let it out. The panic was slowly receding as she made her argument to the empty air that wasn’t so empty. “I—I care about this place. About this island and the people on it. And I want to help them. Not just the elementals, but everybody.” She remembered the scarecrow in the store named Bert. The villagers she had met—well, okay, the ones that hadn’t tried to kill her. Tim and Maewenn. How many others were there, caught up in all the warring forces, who deserved to live a happy life?
“But I can’t do that if I can’t stand on my own. I can’t stop the wars that are coming if I can’t defend them. Or myself. I love Mordred—and—I know I shouldn’t, but I care about that stupid demon.” She chuckled and shrugged. “And Doc. And Tim. And Maewenn. And Galahad. And all the rest. And if someone doesn’t stop all this from going down, they’ll—who knows who won’t make it out the other side?”
Silence.
But they were listening, whoever—whatever—they were. She could feel their attention on her. It made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.
“I know I’m nobody. I’m just a kid from Kansas. I grew up raising goats, for fuck’s sake.” She chuckled. “But I’m here now. And I want to stay. Your dream is beautiful—it’s—it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Let me help save it. Please. I don’t know what else to do.”
Nothing.
Then, a thought. A thought that wasn’t hers. It wasn’t words—it wasn’t even a feeling. It was simply knowing.
God, that felt so weird.
There was a choice before her. Stay on Avalon forever or return to Earth. There would be no changing her mind. Once she made the decision, she could never, ever leave. Even her soul would be bound to the island.
There would be no reunion with her family. Not in this life, or the next. She could never see them, tell them that she loved them, tell them that she was okay. Her feet would never touch the ground of any other world but Avalon.
Choose.
Now.
She was trembling. She had never felt so little in all her life. Could she really say goodbye to Earth forever? To any chance she could ever go home, even just for a brief visit?
Her other option was leaving Avalon forever. Never coming back. Never seeing Mordred again. No hope of a reunion. Maewenn, Tim, Doc, Galahad—she would miss them all.
It was a goodbye to one part of her life or the other.
No takebacks.
No changing her mind.
No what-ifs. No bargains.
This was it.
Choose.
Now.
At home, she was just Gwendolyn Wright. A farmer’s daughter with a panic attack problem. Normal. Boring. With a future that was just as flat as her past had been. Uninteresting—but safe. She could raise a family if she wanted. But part of her would always be in Avalon.
On Avalon, Gwendolyn Wright meant something. Or at least she had the opportunity to mean something. She could go on adventures. See magical creatures and make strange friends. This was a world of magic. But it was also a world of death, of disaster, of danger.
Not to mention the man she loved. And all the friends she’d yet to meet.
Opening her eyes, she straightened her shoulders.
She made her choice.
