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I shut my eyes for a moment, never wanting to have this conversation with Ruslan. In my eyes, this is my own bullshit to deal with, and it’s not on him. But I know I don’t have a choice. He wants to talk about it, so we’re going to talk about it.
When I finally open my eyes, I speak honestly. “It’s like my entire life was a lie. Imagine being called one thing your entire life, being raised by the man with that same name, only to find out you were never his. I find there’s a sense of longing, a missing piece of the puzzle inside me that I’ll never truly understand. You remember our father. You had a good few years with him, and I know Lom doesn’t remember much… but me and Eset, we’ll never get that. We’ll never have the opportunity to know what he was like, or the type of people we could’ve been if he was the father we had raising us. I struggle with that, with my sense of identity, I guess. Every single memory I have with Anzor as a child means nothing.”
Ruslan swallows hard, nodding as I speak, and when I finish, he clears his throat. “I can’t imagine the monumental way you feel robbed of a father. Our father was a great man, and I’ll talk to you about him any time I get the opportunity. But you did have a father. He might not have been your birth father, but he still cared about you. He was a shitty man, we both know that, but he believed he was your father, and I’m sure he tried his best to be that for you. I wouldn’t say the same for Eset since all he ever saw her as was a bargaining chip, but I do think he really tried with you, Nazyr.” Ruslan is really being supportive of me right now.
“What was he like? Our father?”
Ruslan smirks. “He was… nothing short of amazing. He had a firm hand that demanded authority yet could be the one who anyone could go to if they needed someone to talk to. Our father truly cared about the Chechen people, even if his reputation didn’t always match up with that fact.”
“I remember, as a boy, I’d hear horror stories about him. I guess those were in his bad moments.”
“I wouldn’t say bad, but they were likely in the moments when he needed to be authoritative. When those stories came to me as a child, I assumed he had good reason for the way he was acting. When I came into power and heard about some of the situations, I knew he was doing the same thing I would’ve done.”
I nod, understanding where my brother is coming from.
“We need to figure out how we’re going to handle the situation with Duarte and how we’re getting Mona’s children back.”
“What are you thinking?” I question him, hoping he has some grand idea.
“I think that we need to figure out how to execute the plan the right way. Give me a few days to think about it, and by then, I might have come up with something decent. There are many factors at play here, and we can’t fuck this up.”
Ruslan isn’t wrong. We need to be careful, and I appreciate he wants to be careful in the first place. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me, brother. If it were one of us, I know you’d be doing the same thing,” Ruslan states, and I rise from my chair.
“I really need to be getting back to the house. I left Emily with Mona, and I’m sure Mona’s uncomfortable.”
“Go on. I’ll chat with you later. Maybe bring her to family dinner? It would be a good opportunity for us to all meet her and for her to see she’s safe with our family.”
I nod, “Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. I’ll see you later,” I tell him and then exit his office.
It’s not long before Paulo and I leave Ruslan’s condo, and as we’re heading down on the elevator, my phone rings. I glance down and see that it’s Eset, but I silence my phone. Today has been draining enough, and I just don’t have the energy to talk to her right now.
Chapter Ten
Mona
Five more days have passed by since Nazyr left me alone with Emily. I ended up having a really lovely time with her, and we actually found a brownie mix to appease her chocolate craving. Her accent is thick and from Southern America, which she referred to as the South when we were speaking.
That day, Nazyr ended up spending a couple of hours with his brother. I didn’t anticipate he’d be gone that long, and even though I was nervous, Emily was doing a really good job calming me down. I was scared because of everything that had transpired over the last week, and I think because of my time with Duarte, I tend to get nervous whenever anyone new comes around. It will no doubt take a long time for me to settle down and trust people, but I really think I can trust this family.
I’ve been with Nazyr for almost two weeks now, and he hasn’t once tried to force me into anything sexual with him. Sure, he might be a bit flirtatious with the way he speaks to me, but there’s never anything more than that. He hasn’t even touched me since that first day at Duarte’s mansion when we were trying to make it look real for the video feed.
With every passing day, I realize my situation here with him isn’t going to be anything like it was with Duarte. Nazyr respects me. He doesn’t lock me up. He doesn’t backhand me when I speak out of turn. He doesn’t ridicule or emotionally abuse me just because he feels like it. What the man does is check on me and ask if I’m doing okay.
He comes up to me in the living room and asks if I need anything to drink while I’m reading. He asks if I want to walk down to the café with him and get some coffee, which I’ve done with him multiple times. Nazyr treats me so well, and there’s a small part of me that thinks I’m free in a way now.
I even asked him the other day if I was allowed to leave the house, and he told me, of course, I could, as long as I took a member of the security team along with me. I was worried about what he was insinuating, but he cleared up the air immediately—telling me that being close to him put a target on my back and that the only thing he wanted to do was keep me safe.
Nazyr is a real, genuine man. He’s one that cares deeply. So deeply that I don’t know what to think about it some days. Truth be told, I don’t understand why he’s being so lovely to me right now. I don’t have the slightest idea about it. Sometimes I just think he’s a good, solid man. But I know he deals in some nefarious activities. I’m not blind to it. His family is a dangerous one, which is why they need security in the first place… but what Emily said to me really calms me down. She said that the people in this family are overall good ones, but they do bad things sometimes. She told me that the few bad things they do, don’t mean they’re bad people, which made me feel good. It eased some of my worries, so to speak.
“Hey, there you are,” Nazyr’s voice booms from around the corner of the living area. I’m tucked in the bay window, on top of plush pillows with a blanket wrapped around me, book in hand. Nazyr has older Russian novels I’ve never read before, so I’ve been catching up on some books and, in turn, distracting myself.
I place my bookmark on the page I’m at and put my book down beside me. “Here I am. What’s going on?”
“Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to tell you that Ruslan and I are still actively working on a plan about how we’re going to get the girls away from Duarte. I don’t want you thinking it’s something we’re not taking seriously.”
“I didn’t think that for a second. When I was first in your care, you told me that it would take some time to perfect this whole thing, so I’m grateful that you’re doing it.” I don’t mean to be negative, but I thought that Nazyr would’ve somehow gotten out of this by now. I know this is going to be a massive ordeal for his family, and they’re going to do something for me… a complete stranger. It blows my mind. It just goes to show that Nazyr must have really convinced his family it was the right thing to do.
