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“He’s still breathing, brother, which means you can continue what you’ve already been doing to him. He deserves far worse, really. After everything he’s done… he deserves no mercy.”

“And he won’t get an ounce of it from me. I said I was going to make this painful for him, and I plan on keeping that promise.” Ruslan’s eyes deepen with anger, and a part of me thinks my brother wants him to keep holding back this information because the longer he doesn’t tell Eset what she wants to know, the longer my brother can get back at the man who nearly cost him his life.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Emily

I don’t know what caused Lom to come home that night in such a foul mood, but the man had me singing his praises all through the night. He took out every bit of aggravation on my body, and I couldn’t complain if I wanted to. So far as I’ve been walking around today, I still feel him inside of me, and that’s something I’ve always enjoyed. A kind reminder of the pleasure he brings me every time we’re together sexually.

Lom’s at home with Sierra right now while I’m spending time at Amelia’s condo. Emily has picked out a paint color for her room, and she actually wanted to paint it herself. Lom suggested to me that he could help her with it—after some painters came out and put the leakproof tape around all of the trim and baseboards—so they could have a unique bonding experience. Ludvik is here with me, but he’s in another room in her condo.

“You seem like you’re distracted,” Amelia states, pulling me out of my own thoughts. To say I’m not would be a flat-out lie, so I’ll tell her whatever she needs to know.

“I am. There’s been so much that’s changed over the last couple of weeks. I guess, in a way, it’s weighing me down.”

“But they’re not bad changes, are they?”

I shake my head. “No, not at all. They’re good changes. I have my daughter back, and I have a man who’d give me the entire world if I asked him for it.”

Amelia smiles from ear to ear. “You have no idea how hot it is to have a man who would do it for you until you experience it yourself. These Umarova men, they’re a different type of man. I’m sure you see that now.”

I nod because Amelia’s right. I never understood how she was so attracted to Ruslan, especially given the circumstances about how they got together, but now I understand completely. “Lom’s the type of man I could see myself spending the rest of my life with, Amelia. I mean, the way he treats me and the way he treats Sierra. Did I tell you she thought he was her father, and he didn’t correct her? She’s been calling him Dad, and he’s… he’s going along with it.”

Amelia presses a hand to her chest. “That’s so fucking beautiful. It seems like he’s completely prepared to be the man who is her father, don’t you think?”

He’s doing everything a dad normally would for their daughter, and it really makes me wish I had met Lom years and years ago. If I could replace the idiotic sperm donor who got me pregnant in the first place with Lom, I’d be a much happier woman. “I know he is, and what he’s doing for her is making me so much happier to be with him. I love Lom, and I ended up telling him the other day.”

“Shut up! Did he say it back?” Amelia’s eyes widen as she’s waiting for me to speak.

“Yeah, he did.” I bring my legs up onto the couch and sit crisscrossed. “And, normally, I’d doubt it if a man ever told me something like that, but with Lom, I didn’t. With Lom, I knew he was being completely genuine with what he said to me.”

“Of course, he was. Anyone who’s around the two of you can tell how much he adores you, and now he has that adoration for your little girl too. Lom loves you both, Emily, just in different ways.” Amelia smiles brightly, and I know she’s tickled to death that I’m getting the same sort of love that she has with Ruslan.

“To be honest, I never thought I’d ever have a love like this. It’s straight out of the storybooks, and sometimes I worry that I’m going to just blink, and it’ll be gone.”

“It won’t. Umarova men don’t give up easily, and I can tell he’s never going to give up on you. He loves you with everything he is, and even Ruslan has made remarks about things to me. He sees a change in Lom, and it’s a good one, Emily. I think because you know he won’t tell me these sorts of things, that he never thought Lom would ever settle down. I think we always thought he was some notorious playboy when the reality was all he needed was someone to bring out a different side of him. It’s all he needed, and it’s fucking beautiful if you ask me.”

It’s awesome to see that people close to Lom are seeing him for the same man I see him as. I think his playboy past really made Ruslan and Amelia worried that he was going to hurt me, but in a way, I tamed the beast that he is, and I’m not upset by it at all. I’m grateful for it because, without him, I don’t know where I’d be right now. I do know one thing for certain: I wouldn’t have Sierra back without Lom.

“This may sound crass and fucking awful… but I wish your mother was dead. What she did to those other teenage girls and me, not to mention what happened to all the children… It infuriates me so much. I don’t know how a mother could do that to children, you know?”

“Well, she wasn’t a good mother at all, so the fact that she birthed me doesn’t really add to it. You know? She gave my social security number and anything that Carter needed to steal my identity to him, remember? She’s a fucking monster, and I can’t look at her the same way ever again. The funny thing is I thought being in jail would change her a bit, maybe make her more human, but the reality is that she was always a monster. None of us knew it until it was too late.”

I grab my glass of wine and take a heavy sip, and Amelia ends up doing the same thing. “You know, if we were the type of women who went to therapy, our therapists would be so rich. I mean, think about how much trauma they’d have to unpack between the two of us.”

“Rich? No, they’d be loaded. They’d have a condo like this, plus a nice car and whatever else was in their wildest dreams,” Amelia laughs with me, and I’m so appreciative that we have such a good relationship. She’s the sister I never had, and I never knew how much I needed her in my life until now. “On a more serious note, I hope you know that being with an Umarova has its own dangers associated with it.”

“I do, but I have some faith integrated deep into my bones that nothing bad will ever happen to me. I know Lom will do whatever he needs to keep me and Sierra safe, the same way that Ruslan will do that for you and Karim.”

“Yeah, but I felt like I needed to say it to you. This life can be complicated sometimes, and speaking of complicated… how are things with your parents?”

I laugh and don’t say a damn thing. After a few moments of silence, I realize Amelia’s waiting for me to give her some sort of information or reply. “I doubt I’ll ever speak to them again after the things they said. It made me feel horrible, and I deserve better. Sierra deserves better too. Plus, the family I have is the family in this city.”

“I’m so glad you said that because I want to make sure we get together at least a couple times a week. I don’t know if you’re going to be working in Grozny or not, but I figure if you are, we can at least agree to meet up two or three times a week, and we have family dinners every Sunday at Eset and Nazyr’s house.”

I smile at the simplicities of life here because we’re all important to each other, and we make it known. I have no doubt in my mind that I’m going to be happy here, as will my daughter.

I think a change of scenery is what we both needed, and now we have it.

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