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Anita places both hands on my arms. “The doctor is with her now. She went into shock.”
“What do you mean she went into shock? You brought her here.”
“Her blood pressure dropped,” Anita explains, pausing to run a hand over her face. “I don’t know what happened. She seemed like she was fine, but the doctor said something about an infection.”
I push past Anita and cup my hand over my mouth. “Dove! Isabella, where are you? I’m here.”
Sam steps in front of me and frowns. “They’re with her now, Carter. There’s nothing more we can do.”
“Bullshit. I want to see her.”
A uniformed security guard steps in front of me and folds his burly arms over his chest. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to calm down. You’re upsetting some of the other patients and their families.”
“I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks.” My heart is in my ears now, pounding steadily. “I need to find my fiancée. Now get out of my way.”
The security guard stands up straighter. “Sir, if you don’t calm down, I’m going to have to escort you out.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
Anita places a hand on my shoulders and leans in. “Carter, this isn’t going to help anyone, least of all Isabella. Do you really want the doctor to be focused on you and not her?”
I look into Anita’s face, my mind still racing as the knots in my stomach tighten.
Ernesto pushes the double doors open and slows when he sees me. After a quick look passes between him and Anita, he takes my arm. Reluctantly, I let him lead me away and onto a balcony on the third floor. There, he releases my arm, and I move away from him.
I have to do something.
“Don’t tell me that I have to sit here and wait,” I say in a low voice. “She’s down there, and they won’t even let me see her.”
“They will as soon as they can,” Ernesto replies, with a shake of his head. “Anita is right, Carter. You know she is.”
I hate that she is. Because I want to turn the entire hospital inside out to find her. I need Isabella to know that I’m here and that I haven’t abandoned her to go back to my old ways.
“You need to take a beat before you go back in,” Ernesto adds in a louder voice. “I’m sure you don’t want Isabella seeing you like this.”
I glance away from Ernesto and look up at the dark sky, with only a smattering of stars out. “Go the fuck away.”
“Carter—”
I hold a hand up. “I won’t do anything stupid, but I want to be alone.”
Ernesto’s gaze is heavy, but he says nothing. Finally, he exhales, and I hear him shuffle away.
“I’ll be inside,” Ernesto murmurs after a lengthy pause. The door slides shut behind him, and I hang my head low.
Every fear and every insecurity I have bubbles up within me, threatening to drag me under. I can’t bear the thought of losing Isabella, not like this. Not when it feels like our lives together have just started.
This isn’t how things are supposed to end, and I shouldn’t have to fight my way through to get to her.
That goddamn Donahue is going to pay.
If Isabella has so much as a scratch on her head when I see her, I’m going to know who to hunt down, and it won’t matter what promise I’ve made to her. Clean hands aren’t worth Isabella’s life, and I can live with her hating me.
I spend the next few minutes trying not to dwell on all the ways things can go wrong.
I’m jumping from one scenario to the next and growing more and more anxious by the minute when Ernesto comes back carrying a Styrofoam cup of coffee. Wordlessly, I take it from him and take a few sips that leave the tip of my tongue burning. Then I hand Ernesto the cup back and turn away from him.
My body is starting to remind me of the beating I just took. With my mind focused on Isabella, my ribs ache with every breath I take, and it feels like my right eye is starting to swell. But no matter the physical pain I feel, it’s nothing compared to the pain that has taken residence in my chest—my heart. I can’t lose Isabella.
