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Anita twists her head to look at me and gestures to the brown leather armchair opposite Sam’s, vacant and inviting. As I fold up a few of the dish towels and turn the matter over and over in my head, I wonder if this is what my life is going to be like.
Do I have a slew of evenings where I linger on the outskirts, never properly belonging? If Carter doesn’t come back, will I want to leave Anita’s and strike out on my own? Unfortunately, the more I think about it, the more confused I become.
With no college degree and no way to provide proof of my work as a Lacey receptionist, I know I’m not going to be able to provide for myself and the baby. Not in the way I want.
Still, the thought of staying here just to make sure I’m provided for doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t want this to be about money or how much of it I can get out of the Blackthornes.
With a slight shake of my head, I set the folded towels down and wander over to the living room. I lower myself onto the chair, prop up my leg, and give a startled gasp when Tristan throws a blanket in my direction. After pausing to give him a confused look, I drape it over my lap and turn my gaze to the TV.
There’s a loud explosion, and one of the characters is knocked sideways, blood dripping down the sides of his head and from his ears.
I grimace and look over at Sam, who is scrolling through her phone. I stare at her for so long that I wonder if she’s going to look back up at me.
When she doesn’t, I flick my gaze back to the TV and try to get comfortable. Tristan and Paul spend the entire length of the movie poking fun at each other and getting on Anita’s last nerve. Near the end of the movie, she is wagging a finger at them, and they’re both clutching their sides and laughing.
With a half-smile, I watch them and ignore the ache in the center of my stomach. Are Carter and I ever going to have nights like this?
Once the movie ends, Paul stretches his arms over his head and gets up to leave. He offers us all a small smile as Tristan walks him to the door. I twist to watch them both leave and see the hug the brothers give each other. When they linger, tears prick the back of my eyes, and a ball of emotion tightens in my chest.
Anita stands up, walks over to me, and places a hand on my shoulders. “You want to help me bake a cake? When I’ve got a lot on my mind, it helps me think.”
I give her a weak and watery smile. “No, thank you.”
Anita gives me another smile and withdraws her hand. Sam is waiting for her in the kitchen when I stand up.
The door clicks shut, and I hear Paul’s car as he drives off. Moments later, a bolt of thunder lights up the night sky, casting yellow and silver light everywhere. Then, there is a loud clapping sound, and it begins to rain. Tristan peers out the window, a furrow appearing between his brows. I stand up, trudge to my room, and linger in the doorway.
It smells musty, and there are used tissues and clothes strewn over the dresser chair.
With a sigh, I pick up a few clothes and place them in the hamper. Then, I pick up the used tissues and throw them away. When I’m done, I feel a little better as I step into the bathroom and cup my hands under the water. Outside, it’s still pouring steadily, the sound offering a stark contrast to the silence.
I go back into the room, and Sam is standing in the doorway with her arms folded over her chest. “Anita wanted me to see if you needed anything.”
I shake my head and perch on the edge of the bed. “No, thank you.”
Sam gives me a curt nod and steps into the room. In silence, she helps me clean up, the two of us barely looking at each other the whole time. When she’s done, she leaves the room without a backward glance, leaving the door slightly ajar. White light pours in through the crack as I climb onto the bed and switch on the lamp on the nightstand. It casts long shadows across the walls as I lay down on the mattress.
Suddenly, Sam appears again in the doorway, a questioning look on her face. “I also wanted to know if we’re going to be okay?”
I see a glimpse of pain cross her features before I answer. “I hope so, Sam. I really hope so,” I say, sitting up and offering her a slight smile.
“Good.” Sam returns my gesture before turning to head down the hall.
I lie back down and drape an arm over my stomach. I think I feel a flutter, and I open my mouth to call out to Anita.
Thinking better of it, I grab my phone off the nightstand and dial Carter’s number. On the fifth ring, it goes straight to voicemail, and the sound of his voice sends another wave of tears through me.
“Carter,” I whisper, setting the phone down on the pillow next to me. “I miss you. I know you’re out there, but I don’t know if you can hear me. I hope that you’re getting my messages… I’m waiting for you to come home. Our daughter and I are waiting for you.”
Chapter Seventeen
Carter
“What the fuck did you just say to me?”
There’s a dull pounding in my ears, and I taste blood and bile on the tip of my tongue. Across from me, Daniel Blackthorne, my long-lost uncle, shoves both hands into his pockets and gives me a meaningful look. Then he glances over at a few of the other members of the family, all of whom avoid his gaze.
They know better than to cross me, especially when I’m like this. But I’ve been in a rut for weeks. Ever since I packed up my bag and left Isabella and the baby.
