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"It’s not weird at all," he told me firmly. I could see something in his expression, a flattery, maybe, gladness that I had decided he was going to be my first, after all this waiting, all this time. I wanted nothing more than to finally let it happen, but I needed to know I was going to be the one calling the shots. I had waited so long for this moment, and I wanted it to be exactly right.
I wanted him to look at me like he had when he was kneeling on the floor in front of me, his eyes on mine, like he would have done anything at all that I asked him to at a moment’s notice. That’s what I needed. That’s what I craved, more than anything, and I could tell from the look on his face that he was willing to give me exactly what I wanted.
"You tell me how you want this," he murmured to me as he pushed the door closed behind me. My head spun with all the possibilities. I had never been here before, never had this opportunity to really explore my want so deeply. In fact, I had done my best to push it down for so long, ignore it so it didn’t cause me problems. But my body ached for something, for a fullness I had never felt before, and I intended to finally gift myself that.
"I want … you on the bed," I breathed, amazed at how easily this all came to me. He moved as though I was pulling on marionette strings, sliding down on the covers. I took a step towards him, standing over him, gazing down at him, at his gorgeous, masculine body, ready for me, waiting for me. He would have done anything I asked right now.
I could already see his cock stirring beneath his sweatpants, a sure sign of how exciting he found this—how much he already wanted me. I bit down on my lip, a flush of arousal throbbing between my thighs, and I climbed on to the bed in front of him, taking hold of the waistline of his pants and easing them down slowly.
I thought I would feel nervous doing this for the first time, but, to my surprise, stripping him down gave me a sense of control I had never felt before in my life. As though I was, finally, the one in charge. He kicked his pants off, laying supine before me, his cock stirring to hardness as I knelt there in front of him, taking it all in.
I let out a soft sigh of satisfaction, running my fingertips across his chest, grazing them along the top of his strong shoulders and arms. He brought his hands to my wrists, brushing them along my skin, and I felt a fizz of attraction rush through my body. Being so close to him when he was like this, it was thrilling to me in a way nothing else I had ever felt had been. Like every nerve-ending of my body was finally lighting up for the first time, firing on all cylinders as I decided what I wanted to do next.
"You look so fucking beautiful," he groaned, as he reached up to push a hand into my hair, his fingers massaging at my scalp for a moment. I took his hand, looping my fingers through his and pushed them down to the bed.
"How I want it, remember?" I reminded him playfully. Not that his touch wasn’t hot as hell to me, but for this to be as perfect as I needed it to be, I wanted to call the shots. He grinned, and I shifted forward slightly, so that I was straddling him; I could feel his cock twitching against me, eager to take me. My heart thudded in my chest, nerves and excitement spinning from the tips of my fingers to the soles of my feet.
I reached down to pull aside the long nightdress, exposing my nakedness underneath. He let out what sounded like a growl of pleasure when he saw me for the first time, his eyes sliding across my belly and towards the pale puff of hair on my mound. I could feel the wetness and slickness dampening the inside of my thighs, my body already sure of what to do and how to do it, and I shifted again, moving so that I was hovering just an inch or two above him.
I linked my fingers with his again, pushing them above his head, holding him there. He was gazing up at me like I was some kind of goddess, like he would have got on his knees to worship me if I asked him to. And it was with that in mind, that decadent thought in my head, that I pushed down on top of him for the first time.
The ache of being stretched around him came as a shock at first, but a moment later, it softened into something else. I moved down, rocking my hips back and forth slowly as I got used to the feel of him inside of me. It was as though my body had been waiting for this moment, begging for it, pleading for the instant he would enter me for the first time. He let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes for a moment, but I couldn’t stand not to have his gaze on me for even a second.
"Look at me," I breathed, surprised at how commanding the words sounded coming out of my mouth. His eyes flickered open once more, fixing on to me, and I pushed myself down the last couple of inches to take his full length inside of me.
"Oh, fuck," he groaned. I loved hearing him like that, hearing him giving himself over to me so completely—knowing how much pleasure I was giving him, and knowing he couldn’t control himself, couldn’t even come close.
I held myself there for a few moments, letting the sensation pulse through me, letting my body grow used to the feeling of it, and then, I started to move, sliding myself up and down, experimenting with how he felt inside of me, and how I could use him to get myself over the edge and into the release I was craving so badly.
He stared up at me, eyes dark with want, and I leaned down to kiss him again, my hair tumbling over his face as it created a cocoon for the two of us to get lost in. I parted my legs a little farther, letting our bodies come together completely, amazed at how well he seemed to fit into me, as though he had been made for me, as though we had been made for each other.
I pushed myself up on top of him again, and the angle hit a whole new spot inside of me. I cried out, the shock of the pleasure throbbing up through me all at once a whole new kind of pleasure, something I had never experienced before in my life.
"You look so fucking good on top of me," he murmured, and I gazed down at him, eyes bleary, hands on his chest for leverage as I began to move on top of him. I wasn’t trying to perform for him, wasn’t trying to do what I thought I should have been. No, I was just focused on what felt good for me, right now, how much I wanted to take myself over the edge.
And, judging by the look on his face and the noises he was making, I was pretty sure it was doing it for him, too. He began to move up inside of me, sliding himself in deep, thrusting himself into me like he couldn’t get enough of me. I could feel the insides of my thighs starting to twitch slightly, my body aching to go over the edge and into the release I craved so badly. The corners of my vision were starting to blur, my entire system tensing and squeezing and pushing, pushing, pushing towards the edge …
Until, finally, it hit me. I cried out as the shock finally took control of me, the orgasm I had been craving for so long exploding through my body. I clenched around his cock, my thighs squeezing against him hard, pulling him in as deep as I could possibly have him. Pleasure tingled through every nerve ending in my body, and, through it all, the only thing I could focus on was him—his eyes, taking me in like I was something sacred, the feeling of him moving deeper and deeper inside of me, until he reached his own release, buried to the hilt within me.
"Fuck, yes," he growled, grabbing my hips and pulling me onto him hard, like he couldn’t get enough of me. The fullness was almost more than I could take, but in the best way possible, my body pushed to its limit as I fit every inch of him inside of me.
But it was more than just the physical closeness; no, it was something far more profound than that. As I slumped down on top of him, the hem of the dressing pooling around our still-connected bodies, I knew I had given him something I would never be able to share with anyone else. Something I never would have wanted to share with anyone else, either. I couldn’t believe it had actually happened like this, but I had just lost my virginity to Alex Caroni, my childhood crush, the man who had first sparked real want inside of me.
And it thrilled me to know that I had taken back control of everything so completely, if only for a moment. Gregor would never be able to have this from me now—he would never be my first. I was the one who had called the shots over my own body in the way I had always craved, and nothing was going to change that.
Slowly, he drew himself out of me, wrapping his arms around my waist. The warmth of his grip on me was grounding, pulling me back down to Earth in the way I needed right now.
"You good?" he asked me softly.
"More than good," I promised him, and I turned my head to kiss him once more.
Chapter Ten – Alex
It took me a moment to work out what had woken me from my slumber.
Morgan? I glanced over at her, but she was still slumbering next to me, just the way she had been when I had fallen asleep. Her nightdress spread out around her, her hair forming a golden halo around her head.
Maybe some other noise in the house? I strained my ears, but I couldn’t make out much. Nothing, actually, now I thought of it. Panic shot up my spine. Silence, in this place? It didn’t seem right. Normally, there were at least some guards talking, patrolling, something.
