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"He never got the chance," I replied. "Alex came before he could do that. He took me right off the street, right under his nose …"
"I know," Mom replied. "Gregor told us. Came to the house, came looking for you—thought we might have been the ones who took you …"
"I’m so sorry," I told her softly. I hated the thought of him trying to get anything out of my family. I felt so protective of them, to this day. I didn’t want a damn thing to happen to them or harm them, and I knew Gregor would have used all of his intimidation tactics to try and make that happen. I didn’t even want to imagine how hard he had pushed; how much he had scared them.
"No, you have nothing to apologize for," she replied firmly, lifting her gaze to meet mine once more. "You should never have had to marry that man in the first place. If your father hadn’t been reckless enough to get us into so much debt …"
She trailed off, shaking her head, gritting her teeth, as though the anger was threatening to get the better of her. I knew how difficult it was for her to navigate her memories of him—the good overlapping with the bad, the horrible shit he’d done tied up with how good a husband and father he had been for such a long time.
"I did what I had to do," I told her. "To protect you and Leo. You know that, don’t you?"
"Of course I do," she murmured. "And I’m so grateful to you for that, Morgan. But … but you’re my daughter. I don’t want you to have to spend your life contending with what your father did. It’s just not fair. You deserve to live life on your own terms, not dealing with the backlash of everything he messed up when he was still with us."
She shook her head.
"I want you to have the life you want for yourself," she explained. "Not the one that you have to live for the sake of us."
I let those words sink in, let them settle around me. I didn’t know how much I needed to hear them till she spoke them out loud. It was so hard for me to believe that I was worthy of a life of my own, when I’d done everything I could to mitigate the damage of my father’s addiction, when I’d had to take on a marriage to that evil man to keep them safe.
"What do you think that looks like, darling?” she asked, smiling up at me hopefully. "A life you live just for yourself?”
I hesitated before I answered, my mind racing as I tried to work out what the answer to that really was. I had pushed aside my own wants for such a long time, I didn’t even know how to sort through them, sort through the questions of what my future would look like if I chose to live on my own terms.
"I think …," I began. "I think I’d like to be with … with Alex."
There it was; the words I had been too nervous to say out loud until now. Admitting it felt far too dangerous, as though I would be leaving myself exposed. But with my mother, out of everyone, I could be honest, couldn’t I?
She smiled at me.
"You know, I always liked Alex," she remarked, leaning back in her seat and staring off into space like she was pondering on the time they’d spent together in the past. "His father, not so much, but he always seemed a little … different to the world he’d been brought up in. More down to Earth. You know?"
"I do," I agreed, smiling. "And he is. He really is."
"And he’s what you want?"
My mind flickered back to all the time we had spent together—his hands on me, his gaze on me, his words in my ear, the way he made me feel like I was wanted, cared for, not just controlled and forced into doing whatever he wanted from me. I nodded.
"I really do," I confessed. It was strange, saying it out loud, but I didn’t know how else to explain it. I knew it was dangerous, even considering a different life than the one I had resigned myself to with Gregor, but maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for me to live it.
"You should go after what you want," she told me gently. "God knows I didn’t do enough of that in my time. I let your father’s addiction run my life, and it … it’s left me with a lot of opportunities I know I can never take. A lot of life I know I’ll never get to live. And if there’s a chance for you to catch up on all of that … well, I think you should take it."
"Thank you, Mom," I replied softly, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to escape from my eyes. Hearing it from her, hearing her encouragement, hearing how much she wanted the best for me, it meant the world to me, it really did.
Before I could say another word, Leo appeared in the doorway once more, holding a few cups of coffee. I sprang to my feet to take them from him before he spilled them right on the spot. He had never been good at carrying drinks.
"Let me," I told him. "You sit down."
He glanced between the two of us, apparently able to tell that we’d been having some kind of serious conversation in here. He cocked an eyebrow.
"Is everything alright?" he asked, and we both nodded.
"It’s fine," Mom promised him. "Better than fine. Come on, we don’t have long before your sister has to leave again. Let's make the most of it, huh?"
Chapter Sixteen – Alex
I followed her into the penthouse, and she cast her eye around our new lodgings.
"What do you think?" I asked her, slipping my arms around her waist from behind and hooking my head over her shoulder.
