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Juniper manages to pull me the rest of the way out of dreams and aspirations. “I have no say about when you come home, Callum. This is your life and I’m impeding on it. I just wanted to have a warm meal for you to show my gratitude. You tell me the time and I’ll have the food ready. And if you’re running late, it will always reheat.”
So much for romanticizing what tonight might be. “Six thirty,” I affirm. “If I’m running late, I’ll call.”
“I’ll see you then.” She disconnects the call without saying goodbye.
I get she’s holding herself in reserve and I can’t say that I blame her.
I take a minute to bend over my laptop and check emails that have come through while I’ve been in the meeting. I stew over that conversation with Juniper, wondering if I’m ten times the fool for having her in my home. I could’ve easily put her up in an apartment. But that didn’t seem right either because I didn’t want her to be alone. I like having her close to me. I like helping her. I really like helping her father. And I’m so glad to have gotten her out of her horrible marriage.
The question is… am I trying to pick up where I left off? There is no doubt I’ve never loved another the way I did Juniper. Never had a relationship close to what I had with her. Why wouldn’t I want to see if there could be something else?
All reasonable questions but the obvious answer is that I probably don’t deserve it. I’m the one who dumped her and broke her heart. I drove her into a monster’s arms. I’m directly responsible for her life being shitty for the last fifteen years.
If I was any sort of gentleman and truly cared for Juniper, I would untangle our lives as soon as possible and let her get on her way to a new, much better life.
CHAPTER 14
Juniper
Callum lives in a modest home considering he’s the general manager of the Pittsburgh Titans. I’m confident he pulls in a couple million a year in salary, not including incentive bonuses. I know this because I know what a GM does. I would listen every time Callum would talk about his dreams of running a professional hockey team. Nothing he ever said to me was boring. I wasn’t a big hockey fan except to cheer on Callum when he played for our alma mater. The sport became important to me because he loved it with his heart and soul.
When he had the self-awareness to understand he was not good enough to have a career in the pros but could probably pass by in the minors, I admired him so much for pivoting into management. He could quote all kinds of facts about what a GM did, which also included the salary a good one could command, and I always knew that one day he would be at the top of the game. It’s why I didn’t mind sacrificing early in our relationship when he wanted to work hard and prove his worth in the industry.
Maybe you should have waited just a little longer?
That’s always been the question, hasn’t it? Was I stupid in giving him that ultimatum even though I’d waited for two years and it appeared I would continue to wait based on Callum’s unwillingness to let me move with him to Ontario?
It’s a stupid question to even ask. That was fifteen years ago. An old life.
A dead life now that I’ve left Nevada and my husband.
Although Callum’s home is only about a third the size of the Willard estate, there’s plenty to keep me busy. After rearranging his pantry a week ago, I organized every cabinet, drawer and closet in the house. I did it to keep myself occupied, but now I don’t have anything left to do other than clean and cook meals.
Callum surprised me on my third day here in Pittsburgh with a car. The man actually went out and bought me a car. It’s small and basic, but it’s brand new and he bought it for me simply so I wouldn’t be stuck in the house. I tried to argue, tried to refuse it. But he would hear none of it.
“I’ve already signed the paperwork, Juni. Either use it or don’t, but here are the keys.”
He set them on the counter and we didn’t talk about it again. The very next day, I used the car to visit my dad.
When I was with Joshua, and he paid for my dad to be in an excellent care facility, I was not able to see him every day. That’s because I had work demands and when I wasn’t working, I was at Joshua’s beck and call. On a good week, I would visit my dad three or four times.
Now, without a job or an abusive, domineering husband, I’m going to spend as much time with my father as I can. Each day since Callum handed me the keys to that car, I’ve spent a couple hours at Dad’s facility. I now have the freedom to love and dote on my father without worrying about pissing off Joshua, and I’m also meeting some amazing people—not only the care staff but other family members as well.
That’s something I would’ve never thought to do back in Incline Village. Joshua hated me having friends and other contacts. He didn’t want anybody whispering in my ear that I might be living a shitty life with him and he most certainly didn’t want anyone taking my attention away from him. Within the first year of our marriage, he had alienated me from all my friends, and I didn’t even realize it had happened until one among them got married and I was the only person in our circle who wasn’t invited to be a bridesmaid.
I got a wedding invitation of course, and it was pointedly made out only to me and not to me and my husband together. I didn’t have to call to ask why I didn’t make the bridesmaid cut. I hadn’t done anything to deserve it because I wasn’t allowed to be a friend to anyone.
It’s like I woke up one day and I was all alone and all I had was Joshua, Preston and Lila.
Over this last week I’ve been in Pittsburgh, I haven’t seen a lot of Callum. He gets up early to work out in his home gym in the basement. Then he’s out the door by seven thirty to head to the arena. He comes back between six and seven in the evening, and I’ll have dinner ready. Our conversation centers around what each other did for the day and that is that.
He tries to clean the kitchen since I cook, but I don’t let him. He’s already done so much for me, he should relax in the evenings. Except Callum apparently doesn’t know how to relax as he’ll retire to his home office after dinner to continue working. I’ll slip off to my bedroom upstairs, which has its own adjoining bathroom, and I read until I fall asleep.
Then I get up the next morning and do it all again. While I’ve settled into an easy existence with no one breathing threats down my neck, I am starting to go a little stir-crazy. I need to make a plan about what to do with my life.
Right now, I’m trapped at Callum’s until I get a job or until my divorce settlement goes through. I’ve talked to my attorney twice and she has tried to open communications with Joshua to propose a formal separation agreement along with spousal support until we can split our assets, but he’s not responding to her. She’s given him until next Monday and if he doesn’t, she’s going to have to file papers in court to force him to respond.
The doorbell rings and I put aside the cookbook I’d been flipping through. I went to a local bookstore today after visiting my dad and bought it on a whim. For the past fifteen years, I’ve cooked the same things over and over because Joshua and Preston are uninspired people who are afraid to try new things. Callum had always been an adventurous eater and we both enjoyed trying different cuisines.
