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“I was so focused on my career that I lost sight of the most important thing I had. I naively and maybe narcissistically thought you would just wait for me until I had the dream career all set up. I don’t think I understood how hard that was, and then… well, when we broke up, I pretty much sent you down a horrible path. I’m so sorry, Juni.”
She blinks slowly, as if trying to process my words. Finally, she says, “Thank you for saying that. I don’t think I realized how much I needed that apology until you gave it.”
“I hate that you suffered—”
“No,” she says, her tone razor sharp. “Your apology is for breaking up with me and that’s all I’m accepting. You aren’t responsible for my choice to marry Joshua, just like you’re not responsible for my choice to stay with him.”
“But if I hadn’t—”
She raises her voice and cuts in over me. “Hear me, Callum. I had choices. I could have chosen to wait longer for you, I could have chosen not to marry Joshua, and I sure as shit could have left him the first time he hit me.”
“But your dad—”
“I could have moved my dad to an affordable facility. It wouldn’t have been as nice and I would have had to really stay on top of his treatment, but I could have done it. So don’t kid yourself… I was in the situation with Joshua because I chose to be. Just like I chose to leave him when you gave me the opportunity. So, apology accepted, and let’s move on as friends.”
As friends.
The thought of just being Juniper’s friend pales in comparison to what we had. Even the type of friends we are now could never measure up to the deep bond we once had outside of romance and intimacy. She was the one person I could talk to about anything, no matter how inconsequential. No matter how important.
Reaching out, I take her hand from her lap and pull it to my mouth. I kiss the back of it and set it back down. “Thanks for the massage. I’m going to bed.”
Juniper smiles and watches silently as I push up from the couch and head toward the master suite. I feel loads lighter having given my apology and yet I feel more unsettled now than I did before she touched me.
She tells me she had choices and won’t let me accept full blame for how her life turned out. Juniper seems to be at peace with everything and she’s going to move on with her life. She’ll seek a new happiness for herself, and it just makes me wonder… could I be a part of it?
Do I even want to be?
If I dig deep, I already know the answer to that.
CHAPTER 18
Juniper
Even though Callum signed Penn Navarro to the Titans and made several other important trades and acquisitions that have the hockey world abuzz, he’s still elbow-deep in work each day. We’ve settled into an easy camaraderie and my life is calming down somewhat. We’re in this two-week waiting period for Joshua to respond to my attorney, my dad is doing as well as can be expected with the bonus that I get to see him every day, and I have a mostly stress-free life.
I never realized how bad I had it until these days when I open my eyes first thing in the morning and don’t have that crushing weight on my chest, wondering what the day might bring.
This year, the Fourth of July falls on a Tuesday and Brienne Norcross is hosting a party for the players and their significant others. Callum didn’t ask but told me I’d be attending with him, and I was so pleased I didn’t even think to protest. I’m eager to reconnect with the four women I met last week and I’m excited about expanding my social circle, something denied to me for so very long.
Callum wouldn’t tell me where the party was or what was so special about it, but he did say, “Make sure you bring a light jacket and prepare to be amazed.”
The light jacket is a mystery since it’s still in the mid-seventies as we close in on eight p.m. Callum pulls into a parking lot and I can see the Monongahela River down below and the city of Pittsburgh before us. The sun hangs low in the sky, making the reflective buildings glow in pinks, oranges and blues.
I’m guessing the fireworks might go off behind the city and this vantage point is indeed a nice place to watch from. But when we exit the car, Callum takes my hand and leads me toward a building. I don’t think to pull away from him because even though this is a little odd for us to hold hands, I also remember a time in my life when this was the most natural thing in the world.
Moreover, I like the feeling again.
There’s an elevator inside and four people are waiting for it. I can tell two of them are hockey players just by their size. Callum introduces me to Stone Dumelin and his fiancée, Harlow, as well as Hendrix Bateman and his girlfriend, Stevie. There’s no time to engage in anything but quick hellos as the elevator doors open and soon we’re descending. When we reach the bottom, I’m surprised to see we’re at the river’s edge. Nearby are docks with moored boats of all sizes.
“We’re going on a boat ride,” I exclaim, now understanding why Callum told me to bring a jacket as it will be a little cooler on the river.
Hendrix snorts. “Not a boat. A yacht.”
“Is it the same yacht that Boone took Lilly on for their first date?” Stevie asks with a bright smile.
“Not the same boat,” Callum says as he takes my hand again, and it’s clear he knows exactly what Brienne has planned but he’s not going to say more. I see that devilish glint in his eyes.
“But we are going on a boat,” says Harlow, stating the obvious given that we’re on the docks but pressing Callum for more info. “The question remains, what kind of boat? Maybe she rented out the Gateway Clipper.”
