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Prologue
Ily
TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
That pitiful sum changed my entire life.
It bought my entire life.
A measly ten thousand dollars, given to my boyfriend by a monster to fuck me.
He took it.
The monster took me.
And I never saw freedom again.
Chapter One
………………….
Henri
WHO THE FUCK WAS I kidding?
I can’t do this.
I didn’t have the morals, the self-control, the strength.
Even suggesting I try to do this was like dumping an oblivious goat into a T-Rex paddock. The goat thought he’d scored a good spot—a nice place for a snack and a snooze, only to end up decapitated and spat all over the foliage.
I honestly didn’t know if I was the T-Rex or the goat in this scenario.
Honestly, I was both.
It took all my fucking willpower to restrain myself. To smother the parts of me that were rotten and monstrous all while doing my best to be good. To be a genuinely nice guy who didn’t crave such debasement.
To be like him.
My half-brother who’d fought such urges and won. Who’d not only survived with the inherited compulsion to cause tears and get hard on pain but to also find a wife capable of leashing him.
Fuck, I wanted that.
I wanted the freedom to be me, all while too shit terrified to even approach a girl these days.
Not after what I’d done.
Not after what I’d wanted to keep doing.
The familiar black hunger clawed its way through me, and every despicable part of me came out to play. My hearing seemed to sharpen, my nose became more acute to the scents of writhing, sweaty bodies dancing in the club around me; even my teeth ached as if they could lengthen, ready to puncture sweet flesh and lap up the hot essence inside—
Christ, stop it.
Do you hear yourself, Ri?!
My fist spasmed around my glass of whiskey.
The cheap imitation crystal fractured, cracked, then exploded into shards, tearing through the meat of my palm and drenching my newly purchased suit in liquor.
