AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I wasn’t turned on by this.
I didn’t want this.
But I did want him.
The good man pretending to be bad.
The cop who forced himself to hurt me.
I’d felt his restraint as he mounted me.
I’d sensed his despair as he thrust.
My script in this story came with misery and abuse, but his? His might be even worse.
To be the abuser when you were born to be the saviour?
To become something you didn’t want after spending your entire life denying that part of yourself?
God, what was it doing to him mentally?
How much longer could he cope before he snapped?
“Henri…” I raised my hand, asking him for something...
For him to finish what he started when it was just us in the dark.
For him to erase the fictional fucking between a Master and his slave with something more.
My voice shattered whatever spell he’d been under.
His entire face twisted; his eyes bled with pain.
Biting his bottom lip, he shook his head, threw the belt he’d used to bind me into the corner of the room, then marched into the bathroom and slammed the door.
The suddenness of his leaving made the room flex and glimmer with confusion.
Tears that didn’t seem to obey me anymore suddenly rolled wet and salty down my cheeks.
What happened down there?
What happened between us?
How did him feeding me become the most erotic thing of my life, followed by having sex as one of the most degrading?
Why did my heart split down the middle and wage war on itself? Half of it cursing his name for what he’d done, the other half wanting to get on its knees and thank him for protecting me. For using his body to shield mine. For being the monster to keep the others at bay.
He’d used me against his wishes.
We’d performed a timeless act, not because we wanted each other or let lust cloud our judgement but because we were trapped in a nightmare.
Did that absolve what we did or merely reveal how weak I was?
Weak because beneath my despair lingered the very real, very awful need for him to finish what he started—
Enough, Ily.
I sighed and rubbed my teary eyes.
