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Fuck, do you hear yourself?
I snorted under my breath.
This crush was pissing me the hell off. How did other men get shit done when their entire body and mind became obsessed with a single person? I’d always guessed I had issues and not just the sadistic devil inside me. If a psychologist ever got their hands on me, I’d expect them to say my need to deliver pain to others came from my own deep-seated agony at not receiving any touch, love, or affection in my childhood.
I’d loved my mother; God rest her soul.
I’d been her only caregiver as she declined.
Yet she never hugged me.
Not once.
I couldn’t even hate her for being cold to me because I understood how hard it would be to love someone who came from a rapist who destroyed you.
Fuck’s sake, stop.
This is not the time for a walk down shitty memory lane.
Gritting my teeth, I laid my jacket on the bed. Making sure to avoid Ily and forcing myself not to look between her bare legs, I spread the sides of the expensive blazer and ran my fingers over the silk lining until I found the secret pocket along the bottom.
Cursing my big fingers, I pried the bronze handled knife loose. Keeping my hand low and hidden by the blankets, I ensured the mechanism operated correctly. Thin and heavy, the blade popped out with a quick press of a concealed button, becoming a lethal little switchblade.
Good.
At least I could gut a few people if they started asking questions.
Inhaling with courage I didn’t exactly feel, I went to slide the blade back into the handle—
“What’s that?”
Merde.
Squeezing my eyes closed for a second, I fortified my fraying self-control and snapped the knife closed. Shoving it into my other pocket, I looked up.
Ily rubbed her eyes, blinking away sleep. Comprehension slammed into her. “You…you have a—”
Before she could tell every camera watching, I launched onto the bed and tackled her to the mattress. Pinning her with my entire half-naked body, I whispered in her ear. “It’s a knife, but don’t say a word about it in case they’re listening, got it?”
Pulling away a little, I glanced down at her.
I expected to see annoyance at me pouncing on her, followed by a healthy dose of apprehension, but what glimmered in her stunning sunshine stare fucking broke me.
It took an axe to my chains and a blade to my ropes.
It threatened to unleash me with a single look because it wasn’t just a look.
It was an invitation.
A plea given in a flash of honesty.
A summoning from a girl to a boy, angel to devil, and my body reacted far quicker than my mind.
I groaned as I hardened.
I clenched my teeth as her hips shifted beneath mine.
And I fucking snarled as she reached to cup my cheek—
