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“Why Hawaii?”
“Have you looked outside? Of course I had to give it a try. Besides, I’ve been all over America. All forty-eight continental states. This is what comes next.”
“What do you think?”
Twanow was right; it’s best to just be myself. “I wish your spiders were smaller, and I’m a little concerned about carnivorous crabs.”
“The coconut crabs? Just remember, their claws operate like—”
“Hydraulics?”
“I see Trudy and Ann gave you a proper tour.”
“They’re amazing. Everyone seems very nice. Look.” Since the best defense is a good offense, I go with some sincerity of my own: “I’ve covered a lotta ground and worked a lotta places. I know how these things work. I won’t slow you down, and I won’t be a problem. I work hard, and I know how to fit in.”
Vaughn eyes me seriously. “Around here, we’re each other’s backup. Anything goes wrong, it’s on us to save ourselves.”
I shiver slightly. I’ve heard these words before. Right before our search group started getting picked off by a sniper.
“That means no fraternizing,” Vaughn emphasizes.
“Unless I’m human, in which case come see you?” I hear the double entendre at the last minute and promptly blush furiously. For the first time, Vaughn looks taken aback. MacManus’s right-hand man colors slightly, his jaw working, no words coming out.
“For condoms,” I add hastily to save us both.
“Yes. Exactly. Also, we have rules about alcohol consumption. Everyone must be prepared to muster at a moment’s notice. So while we have some happy hours and social occasions, no one is permitted more than two drinks a night. Is that a problem?”
I shake my head.
“The alcohol is under lock and key in this office. One of your responsibilities will be to distribute it during prescribed functions, while monitoring everyone else’s consumption. Is that a problem?”
Now would be a perfect time to mention I’m a recovering alcoholic, or even state that I don’t drink. Instead, I once more shake my head.
“I mark the bottles. And at the end of each evening, you should update those markings.”
“Okay.”
“We also honor everyone’s religion, race, and gender identity. How would you like to be addressed?”
“Frankie?” I venture.
He waits.
“She/her,” I add, understanding the question better now.
“I encourage you to ask each of your teammates this question and make no assumptions. There’s a myriad of reasons people prefer to work in remote locations such as this.”
I get it.
“As you may have noticed, our Wi-Fi is shit. Which also reminds me, out of respect for one another, we don’t swear. Except when we do, in which case, there’s a swear jar.” Vaughn now digs into his pocket. As I watch, he pulls out a coin of some sort, eyes both sides of it, shrugs, then drops it into an old mason jar on the corner of his desk, filled with other bright, shiny objects.
“It’s important to monitor our behavior, to try to be our best selves at all times. But it’s equally important to realize we’re human, and this kind of living, cut off, isolated, and facing hours if not days of boredom, takes its toll. We act our best when we can. Practice forgiveness when we can’t. If you have concerns about any of your campmates’ behaviors or feel uncomfortable or threatened at any time, come see me immediately. In this environment, minor grievances can quickly become major flashpoints. Speak up early and often. It’s in everyone’s best interest to nip things in the bud.”
“How do you select your staff?” I’m genuinely curious. “I mean, plenty of people are cooks, engineers, naturalists, whatever. Why these people here?”
“We look for experienced contract workers, people who move around often and have an established pattern of success.”
“People from nowhere,” I fill in. Finally, my lifestyle is considered a superpower.
