Page 85 of Endless Hope


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I felt a pang that he hadn’t invited me, but then maybe it was because Mom wanted some time together. I couldn’t help but feel a little bitter that John was here. We’d have to make an extra effort to get alone time now. I wasn’t used to that at all.

My mom had always been a constant in my life when my father hadn’t. John being here was triggering something inside of me. I felt panicked. This thing with Talon was new. Would it stick? Or would I be alone?

I knew I was spiraling, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.

John came into the kitchen and helped Mom knot the garbage bag, then he took it outside for her.

Mom smiled. “I have to say it’s nice to have a man around again. I can take out the garbage by myself, but it’s good to have the help.”

“I’m happy for you, Mom.” I could see how much more relaxed she was, and she seemed genuinely happy. That made me feel guilty. Had she waited to date until I was settled? When I broke up with Talon, did that push back her plans to find someone for herself? Had I been selfish over the years, only thinking about myself?

Mom went into the dining room, and Talon moved toward me. “Everything okay?”

I looked up at him. “Yeah, it’s just different.”

“This is good for your mom,” Talon said softly so she wouldn’t overhear.

I rolled my shoulders back. “I know. I just need to get used to it.”

“Change can be hard,” Talon agreed. “But you’ll get through it.”

When John returned, he washed his hands, and I asked, “Do you have family in the area?”

“I have a daughter and a son. Both are married with kids now. But they live in Virginia. I’m planning to visit over New Year’s with Gayle.”

Gayle. It was so weird to hear someone say my mom’s first name. I wasn’t sure how long they’d been dating, but I suspected that John already loved her. Maybe they were both lonely, and this is what they needed.

“That will be nice.” I couldn’t help but think that I didn’t have any kids. My mom wouldn’t be able to brag about her grandkids.

“I’m glad we were able to meet. I’m hoping we can spend more time together,” John said as Mom returned, a smile spreading over her face.

It felt weird that a stranger wanted to spend time with me when my father had been so absent in my life.

Mom was excited about this new relationship, and I needed to get used to it. I’d always been the most important person in Mom’s life. I was lucky in a way because my father hadn’t been in the picture. There was no competing for her attention. Especially when she didn’t date, or at least not that I could remember.

But I wasn’t a child anymore. John wasn’t a threat to our relationship. We both had our own lives. It was as it should be. Mom had sacrificed enough for me over the years. She deserved happiness.

Chapter 21

Talon

I was surprised that Gayle had invited John to Christmas Eve dinner without letting Holly know about it ahead of time. But I could see why she did it. Holly was thrown off kilter at the idea of her mom dating. If she’d told her before, I wasn’t sure that Holly would have gone.

I was confident Holly would be able to move past whatever weird feelings she was having about her mom dating. She was a good daughter and genuinely wanted her mother to be happy. I secretly hoped that having John in their lives would be good for both of them.

When I talked to him in the living room, he seemed like a solid guy who loved Gayle. He genuinely wanted to get to know Holly.

When we returned home, I’d hoped that we’d have some time to ourselves, but Holly said she had a headache and was asleep before I returned from taking the puppy out. I got her settled in a dog bed at the foot of our bed, then changed and brushed my teeth.

The evening had been emotionally draining for Holly. I just hoped she’d get past it, and it wouldn’t pull her into whatever thoughts and feelings she had after the miscarriage. I’d always suspected she had some abandonment issues due to her father leaving.

And she might have pushed me away before I could break up with her. It was irrational but probably made sense to her traumatized teenage brain. Was it too much to hope that she’d matured and moved past those feelings?

I had to have faith that she’d talk to me if she was having doubts. We were just busy. Things would settle down soon.

In the morning, I must have overslept because I woke to my phone buzzing. It was Heath reminding me to get my butt over to Sebastian’s before Ember opened her presents.

Holly was already in the shower, so I dressed quickly in the flannel pajamas that Ember insisted we all wear for the day and called out to her. “I have to run. I’ll see you for dinner tonight.”

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