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He pulls out and tucks me into him, our breaths heavy, our hearts so full. I don’t want to lose this moment, this feeling. So, I push those fears and thoughts that are creeping back in now that he’s no longer inside me. I push them down, even though I know this won’t, and can’t, last. Even though I know my heart will get broken, I willingly surrender myself to him. Resting my head on his chest, I lazily run my hand along his muscles, inhaling the scent of him tucking this memory away for safekeeping. Today, I’ll take all he will give me. Tomorrow, and the day after, I’ll lick the wounds I’m certain he will leave.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Indie
I WALK OUT OF THE bathroom, drying the ends of my hair, and pause in the doorway when I see Roman. His face is drawn, and I know immediately it’s bad.
“Sweetheart, they found Austin.” Roman’s tone is way too serious, and the look in his eyes has my chest cracking, my heart thumping so damn hard that I close my eyes and wish I could shut off my ears as well. I don’t want to hear what he’s about to say. I can’t look at him. His look said everything and nothing at the same time. All of a sudden, the whole world around me ceases to exist as Roman’s words echo loudly in my head.
“He’s being taken to Boston Hospital by ambulance right now.” There is a long pause. Too fucking long. “I’m going to be completely transparent with you.” Another pause and a deep breath follows. “He is not in good shape.”
Fire courses through my veins, reminding me I’m alive. I feel like my heart is going to stop beating, the pain in my chest too unbearable. Then I feel the warmth of Roman around me. Feel his breath on my face, smell his scent enveloping me in a cocoon of him. I can’t speak. I have a thousand questions, but my mouth won’t open, and the words won’t come out.
“I’ll take you to the hospital,” I think he says, but his words blur, just like the colors around me, just like Roman's beautiful face. It all blurs, and all I see, all I hear, is darkness.
I numbly dress myself, brush my wet hair, and put on my shoes. I can feel Roman's eyes on me. I can feel the tightness in the air, but still, I can’t speak. It’s not until we’re in Roman's car and halfway to the hospital, I turn in my seat to him.
“Where did they find him? Who did it? What did they do to him?” It’s like all the questions that have been festering behind my shock spew out at once. “Is he going to die?”
Roman glances at me for a second and then back to the road. “Moretti found him at the back of his club. He checked back through his CCTV footage, and it was the kids that run money for Moretti. The same kids that Austin stuck up for not so long ago in that same alley.” He pauses, taking my hand. “I’m not certain of the extent of his injuries. Moretti said he’s been badly beaten and has some stab wounds.”
I cover my mouth to stop the sob from leaking out. Tears gush down my face, and I hold my hand over my chest like it is a physical gaping wound. I sift franticly through my handbag looking for the card I kept. “I’m going call that detective that came by my apartment. He might be able to help?”
“Marshall dropped the investigation. He has no interest over the matter anymore.”
I shake my head in confusion. “Why? What the hell does that mean?”
“It means he dropped the investigation. That’s all you need to know.”
Just when I think my mouth can’t open any wider. Oh my God, you paid him off, didn’t you? You bribed a police officer.”
He doesn’t respond, his eyes concentrating on the traffic lights ahead. “You know who I am, Indie. You know what I do. I have never hidden that from you.”
I sigh, placing my head in my hands. “Well, that’s backfired now, because now he’s not going to help us.”
“Moretti will sort them out. Austin will never have trouble with them again.” Roman takes my hand in his, resting it on his thigh.
“What?” I say not really asking a question, more filtering my confusion. “What exactly does ‘sort them out’ mean?”
“What do you think?” Roman says so casually, it takes me a moment to process it.
I pull my hand from his, mouth gaping wide at him. “He can’t kill them,” I exclaim. “As much as I hate what they’ve done to my brother, they are just kids themselves. You can’t let him do that.”
“You don't understand, Indie. Moretti works for Micky Russo aka Grizzly. He runs the Boston underworld. If they fucked over Moretti, then they’ve fucked over Grizzly. Not even I am stupid enough to get on his bad side. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more I can do. It’s in his hands now to deal with as he sees fit.”
“How can you sleep at night defending men like him?” I snap, suddenly feeling sick in my stomach.
“The same way you can. Don’t you dare sit there and be a hypocrite, Indie. You’re defending the very boys that, if they are given the chance, will end Austin. They deserve everything they get. Giving them another warning will only put a band-aid on the true issues here. Those boys won’t change, and they will grow into men, vengeful and dangerous men.”
“No, they deserve to be dealt with through the law. You and your thugs are not the law, Roman. You don’t get to decide their punishment, as much as I do either.”
“That’s not how it works in the underworld, Indie. And, I am certainly no thug.” I swallow his bitter words, and all of a sudden, there’s the Roman I know from the office, not the same Roman that just made love to me in his bed.
“When does it end? He made one mistake, and now everyone has to pay for it.” I can’t hide the sharpness in my tone, nor the sorrow in my heart.
“No one said it was fair, but it is what has to be done if you want your brother to live.”
We pull into a park at the hospital, and Roman cuts the engine, turning in his seat to me.
