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“Well to be fair, I did leave the ball in your court.”
“So you think that’s how you’re supposed to treat your woman? You just sit back and wait, take your sweet time, play around with your…your plants and all that…good little farmboy stuff…and leave me on the edge of a cliff forever… waiting for a man to call me?!” I yell, pacing frantically back and forth.
“Aw darlin, you know I wanna talk to you. You just seemed a little…underwhelmed…last time I called is all.”
“Well you know what Bo, maybe my life has got me overwhelmed, and I’ve got things to take into consideration… strategies for how I can survive and get through all this because I’m a survivor and I don’t want anyone’s pity and I don’t need some big man to come along and try to rescue me. So yeah…maybe I was a little underwhelmed by you!”
Tears finally break over the damn of my lower lids as I fully absorb what I’ve just done. My body slides to the floor while my lungs struggle to assimilate the size and speed of my breaths. As the silence lengthens between us, my head fills with the sound of words I cannot bring myself to say… Bo, I love you more than anything. I need you desperately. My life has fallen through my fingers like a sham and I just want you to come pick me up and carry me away…
“Well Fiona, if that’s how you feel,” he finally ventures in a beaten-down voice.
Another wave of sobs pours out of me, as I cover the speaker so I can’t be heard.
“I sure wish you’d let me be a part of your life strategies, but it sounds like you’ve got things covered on your own,” he says.
“I’m sorry Bo,” I manage in a whisper, followed by another expanse of silence before I disconnect my phone.
Chapter 30
Bo
“Hey man…what’s up man? You look beat,” Jose observes as I stagger into the saloon with a headache.
I raise a finger toward Kiana and she automatically comes over with my usual. “How’s it goin Big Bo? Haven’t seen you around lately. You’re not goin dry on me are you?” she asks, leanin over the bar to the full advantage of her low plunging tank top.
“Naw…just busy doin winter things, putting final touches on the house and…keepin to myself too much I guess.”
“What’s on your mind bro?” Jose asks, readin me like a book as usual.
“You might wanna order another one for this.” Kiana takes the cue and sets a beer in front of Jose, who’s now turned sideways on his stool…giving me an expectant glare. “I’m gonna drive on up to Iowa and surprise her.”
“What…for New Year’s?”
“I guess so, except I won’t be able to make it till New Year’s Day.”
“You’re crazy man. What are you trying to do, torture yourself? Woman doesn’t talk to you for half a year and you put your heart out on a limb…man that’s crazy. I wouldn’t do it! That’s all I’m saying.”
“It gets worse,” I tell him with a faint smile, knowin he’s gonna laugh when he hears what a fool I am. “I called her this morning…and she told me she’s underwhelmed by me.”
This sets both Jose and Kiana into whoops and hollers of side-splittin laughter, dramatized by fists poundin the counter and knees being slapped.
“You? Underwhelming? Underwhelming?! That’s creative…I gotta hand it to the woman. I don’t know how she came up with that one to describe Big Bo,” Kiana says with many shakes of her head, as she begins fixin cocktails for a group at the other end of the bar.
“Why Bo? Why? What are you doing man? You’ve got beautiful girls eating out of your hand man. Wish they were after me like that…it ain’t even fair man.” He shoots Kiana a mournful look under his black lashes, but she doesn’t take any notice.
“She said somethin else too.” Jose braces himself for the worst. “She said she’s my woman.”
“What? It sounds like she’s loose all up in here,” Jose says, rotating a finger around each side of his head.
“Okay, okay.” I say, finally laughing. “She was pissed at me for not calling in half a year, and she said that’s no way to treat your woman. Now, I don’t know what to make of all that…but I’m sayin she still likes me.”
“I heard that!” Kiana shouts from the end of the bar. “Of course she still likes you, you big dumb oaf!”
The group before her laughs as I turn back to Jose in a more private tone. “I’ve just gotta see her again bro. The call was short and unmeaningful and…somehow I blew it again. I need to see Fiona. If she gives me the boot, it is what it is. But I’ll tell you somethin…that woman wants me, and she’s wound up tighter than the inside of a golf ball.” Jose finally nods in earnest as I gulp the last drop of my beer and begin to rise. “Big Bo’s gonna ride into town and bring that woman to her knees,” I declare in a voice slightly louder than intended, inciting an eruption of hollers and ‘hell yeahs’ across the bar.
“You headin out already man?” Jose asks as he grips my hand in a dap shake.
“Yeah buddy. I’ve got some work in the greenhouse and a lot to think about.”
