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Maybe I should’ve listened to Jose all along. Maybe I need to reassess the decades of dream visits I’ve had from Fiona. I suppose there’s no guarantee they ever meant she was my soulmate. Perhaps they were tryin to tell me somethin else, and I just wanted to believe what I wanted to believe. Although these heavy thoughts don’t deter my momentum, they do make me wonder what I’m drivin into. It just feels like a bad situation, and I hope one or both of us won’t come out of it hurt. But it’s her choice if she wants to turn me away. I can’t force her to choose a life of marital bliss in a Florida dream home with the man who worships her. Damn it woman. You have no idea how long the last six months have been for —
I physically jolt when my phone startles me out of my increasingly negative thought stream.
“Fiona?”
“Hi Bo, it’s Holly.”
“Holly —“
“I’m sorry to bother you, I know it’s late in Florida. I just wanted to let you know not to wait up. Fiona’s not even home yet.”
Suddenly my veins are erect, my blood is boiling, my foot’s even heavier, and I’m exhibiting all the signs of full blown dread. And it ain’t good old fashioned jealousy either. It’s that even Holly doesn’t sound okay. All my senses tell me somethin ain’t right.
“Well Holly, I reckon you’re off to bed soon, but maybe you could leave a note somewhere she would see it? You can trust me when I say I’ll be waitin up for her. All night,” I finally say, tryin to let her know I’m serious without betraying my level of concern.
“You bet I’ll do that Bo. In the event I go to bed. To be honest, I’m a little worried about her.”
“Now why would you be worried about a big girl like Fiona?” I ask, pretending that I’m not.
“I’m not sure,” she says hesitantly.
I give her a long moment of silence before gently prodding again. “Well now what’s got you bothered there, Holly?”
“Well, first of all…I’m pretty sure she’d murder me in my sleep if she knew I was talking to you about her. So please, can I say something to you in confidence?”
“Absolutely. I’d never rat you out,” I reply, still soundin calm but feelin like a dozen firecrackers goin off in a bag.
“Thanks Bo. I feel I can trust you even though I don’t know you. It’s just…Fiona’s painted a good picture of you in my mind.”
“Really?” Finally Holly’s got my attention on a thought that’s not disturbing.
“Oh of course. Not that she goes around talking about you much, but when she first got home from the conference… she said some things,” Holly says with a blush in her voice.
I clear my throat waitin for her to continue.
“I just want you to know that she has, or had, very strong feelings for you. I’ve really never heard her talk that way about anyone. But she just…has this mechanism where she shuts people out. She had a very lacking relationship with her parents and I think that has a lot to do with it. She doesn’t want to let anybody in where she could get hurt. And I’ve really never seen her get hurt, ever. But it’s not because she’s indestructible. It’s because she puts a wall up, you see?”
“I do see, Holly. I can see that clear as day about Fiona.”
“I knew you were a good one,” she says with a smile I can hear.
“Question though, if she’s wanting to avoid me, what would that have to do with her stayin out late tonight? Assuming she still doesn’t even know I’m tryin to reach her.”
“Oh goodness Bo, that’s where it gets weird. Please promise again that this information won’t make it back to her? I probably already overstepped when I revealed who she was out with. Fiona’s exceedingly private about her personal business, especially if she knew I was telling it to… someone she cares for.”
I feel silly when that last comment lights me up inside. Our brief history provided ample evidence that Fiona cares for me, but there’s somethin about the woman that challenges my confidence in a way it’s never been challenged before.
“I don’t suppose,” Holly continues, “that Fiona’s told you much about her relationship with her ex-husband, Quade?”
“Just enough to let me know I wouldn’t wanna fight alongside him in a trench.”
“Yes, well…to say the least. But what I find truly irksome is…they were always such good friends. He’s always been the nicest guy, and then all of a sudden it’s like he just turned.”
And what I find truly irksome is the way Holly’s beatin around the damn bush. “So, by “turned” you mean they’re not friends anymore?”
“I’m afraid it’s worse than that Bo. Fiona’s father’s dying of dementia, and…” Holly stops and lets out a heavy breath. “I hate to be the one telling you all this. Fiona’s afraid to let you into her life because she doesn’t want to rock the boat with Quade.”
“I’d gathered that,” I reply, tryin not to sound as impatient as I feel.
