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Fuck, how many years have I spent wanting to hear my name on her lips? I swear to God, I must be dreaming.
Suddenly, catching me by surprise, her entire body stiffens, and it’s not from pleasure. “Em,” I ask and glance up. The stricken look on her face nearly stops my heart.
“We can’t do this.”
I look around, expecting her brother to be standing there. “If you don’t want?—”
“Oh, I do want. I also remember that you don’t have sex before games. You can’t break that tradition now, Josh. Not for me.”
“I’d never break that rule for anyone but you, Embee,” I answer quietly, and go back on my heels as she stands there, her arms across her chest.
“Josh…what if sex interferes with your game?”
Not having sex with her is going to interfere with my life, and I can’t let this opportunity to be with her go. “I want you, Em. I want this, tonight, with you.”
Her gaze races over my face and my entire body is tight. If she walks away from me, like I did to her in her brother’s dorm room, I might die right on the spot and that would definitely interfere with my game. I bite down on the inside of my cheek, hating myself for how I left her three years ago. I was cruel and now I don’t deserve this, but her body is beckoning mine, and I need to give her this, to let her know she’s desirable, and everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman.
“I want you too,” she answers and steps into me. I heave a sigh of relief and pull her to my body, wrapping my arms around her waist to hold her stomach to my face. Her fingers race through my hair, and she slides to her knees, joining me on the floor. “Why do we always end up on the floor?” she teases, easing the tension between us.
“The bed always seems too far away.”
She reaches between our bodies and cradles my cock through my wet workout shorts. “Yeah, definitely too far when you’re in this state.” She grins and I love the teasing, the easy comradery. It reminds me of old times. She said we can’t go back, and I won’t, but we sure can go forward.
Her hand dips into my shorts and the second she wraps her small hand around my cock, it thickens even more. She strokes me from base to crown, dipping into my pre-cum and rubbing it around my crown.
“I love the way you touch me,” I growl, and slide my hand around the back of her head to bring her beautiful mouth to mine. I kiss her deeply as she strokes me, and as pleasure rips through my body, I slide a finger into her. She moans and rocks into me, as we both give and take with our hands. “Warming up?” I ask.
“Afraid not.”
I chuckle into her mouth and she growls as I remove my finger from her tight center. I stand, pulling her up with me and make fast work of my clothes. I’m about to pick her up and lay her beneath me on the bed, only to go completely still as she gazes at the tattoo near my heart. She blinks rapidly, and as though moving of its own accord, her hand snakes out and she lightly traces the bumblebee.
“Josh?” she murmurs quietly, her head lifting, her gaze locking on mine. “This…this bee…”
She blinks at me, confusion and something that looks like hope brimming in her eyes. “I got it, after…you know.”
The room is silent, save for the sounds her throat makes as she swallows. “It’s our word.”
“Yeah.”
Her chest rises and falls quickly, and every ounce of love I have for her flares hot inside my body. Needing her in my arms, needing to be inside her, I pick her up and walk backward to the bed. I sit, and she straddles me.
“Like I said, I missed you too.” I take a breath as she continues to trace the tattoo and I could fucking sob at the mixture of pain and loss in her eyes. I feel it as intensely as she does. “Getting this, it reminded me of you every day, and reminded me of how badly?—”
Before I can finish, her mouth is on mine, kissing me with need. I kiss her back with all the pent-up hunger and years of wanting her, flaring inside me. I hold her tight, so tight I’m not sure she can breathe, and she digs her knees into the mattress and lifts herself up. My cock jumps upright, and she lowers herself onto it, groaning as I fill her. Something niggles in the back of my brain.
“Condom,” I finally remember.
She goes still. “I’m clean and I have an IUD.”
“I’m clean too, Embee. I’ve never had sex without a condom, but I want to with you. You feel so fucking good.” Sex without a condom, no barriers keeping skin from skin, but also no barrier protecting my heart if we can’t move forward and find a future together probably isn’t a great idea. Yet, I’m going to do it anyway. I have to do something. I can’t keep living life as a shell of my former self. Losing my perfect woman and my best friend, made getting through every day painful, and forcing a smile, keeping my focus on the game, is getting harder and harder.
I hold her hips and pull her down onto my cock, burying every last inch of myself inside her hot, tight sheath. Christ, we’d only done this once, and while I’ve been with a few girls, none of them had ever compared to Ember, and none ever will. This is home. Where I belong.
“Josh,” she murmurs and runs her teeth over my shoulder, grazing my flesh in a way that strokes right to my balls.
My hands go to her back and I spread my fingers, wanting to touch her all over. She presses her breasts against my face, and I take a pert nipple into my mouth, sucking and licking and savoring the sweet taste of her.
I pick her up, lifting her from my cock, only to pull her down again, and her moans of satisfaction race through my body. “Fuck, Em…this is…God, it’s so…” She’s the writer, the one doing an English degree, so maybe she’ll be able to put to words what I’m feeling.
