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After we’re all showered, we get on the bus and head back, and we’re all mostly quiet. Some guys are playing games on their phones, some are talking to their loved ones, and others are just resting. I stare at my phone. It’s been a long time since I had anyone I could call and talk to. Fuck man, I miss Liam. I used to call him and tell him everything. I still think of him when something good or bad happens. Liam was my confidant, and maybe if I’d told him how I felt about his sister, and explained I wasn’t looking for a fast hook-up, things might have turned out differently.
I guess it’s too late for that now.
The bus pulls up to the hotel and we all pile off, agreeing to meet for a drink after we drop our things off. I head to my room, and debate on whether to go down to the lobby bar or not. Maybe a couple of strong drinks will help me forget what a shit show my life is right now.
My phone pings and I snatch it up. While Ember hurt me, I still hope it’s her. It’s not. It’s Kalen wondering where the hell I am. Maybe they have something planned for the rookie.
I make my way down and put on a smile as the romance novelists Ember was with ask if they can take pictures with me. I oblige and after a round of selfies, I head to the lobby bar. I find myself scanning the room, looking for Ember. Kalen puts his hand up and waves me over.
“Hey,” I say as I drop down into a chair and he slides a beer in front of me. I can’t help but glance around again.
“She’s not here?” he asks.
“What?” I turn back to him and notice the way his eyes have narrowed in on me.
“The girl you’re looking for, she’s not here.” I open my mouth about to protest, when he says, “Don’t shit me, buddy. We’re a team, here for each other, so out with it.”
I exhale and sit back in my chair as I tell him all about Liam and Ember and what went three years ago and earlier today. “Wow, she sounds like a total bitch,” he snaps, “You’re better off without her or Liam in your life.”
“No,” I say quickly. “She’s not a bitch, and Liam was just reacting. I handled it badly back in college.”
“Fine, Liam was reacting, but this Ember chick, what a piece of work.” He snorts and shakes his head. “You dodged a bullet, my friend.”
He takes a long drink as he stares at me, like he’s gauging my reaction. “Don’t say that. She’s really sweet.” My heart thumps with pain as I ache for her.
He sets his beer down. “If she was sweet, then why would she be out for revenge?”
“I…I don’t know.” Am I handling all this badly again? Accusing her of something that’s not true, reacting, like Liam reacted all those years ago?
“You must be wrong about her being sweet,” he says.
“No, I’m not. She’s sweet and kind and funny, and…” God, when I touch her, when she touches me, it feels so right. I run shaky fingers through my hair, as my mind goes back to last night, and all the nights before I hurt her. Ember was always there for me, just like I was always there for her.
“The story, this revenge plot, was about you, wasn’t it?” Kalen asks.
“Yeah, she said it was. Parts of it anyway.” I pause, as her words ping around in my brain. I’m not a novelist, so I don’t really know much about putting a book together. “She said something about the ending. It wasn’t finished.”
He snorts out a laugh, much like I did when she mentioned the ending. “Yeah, she couldn’t write it because she needed to see how it played out.”
My throat squeezes tight. “That’s exactly what I said.”
“Right, so it’s settled. You’re better off without her.”
I take a big drink of my beer and glance around again. “Why does the thought of never seeing her again gut me?”
“Because you love her.”
“I do love her,” I admit.
He shrugs. “But she’s a bitch, so forget about her.”
“No, she’s not, and it’s not that easy.” I shoot back, anger racing through me as I defend her once again. He grins at me. “What?”
“You keep defending her, Josh.”
Ah, okay, I get it. He was pushing me, to see how I’d react, and to get me thinking. “Yeah,” is all I can push past my tight throat.
“Is there some part of you, that college kid that lost so much and is afraid to try and then lose again? That college kids who hopes she wasn’t out for revenge, and you read it wrong, because you’re afraid?”
