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“Court-appointed guardians?”
“Hilarious.”
“Is this a catfishing situation, where you thought you were online connecting with your dream man and instead landed two elderly besties?”
“Thereareno dream men,” she said. “And they are my roommates.”
“Waaaait.” I turned toward her, so shehadto look at me. “Is this like aFreaky Friday, magical realism thing, where your roommates were turned into the elderly? Are there twenty-seven-year-olds inside those midcentury bodies?”
She finally looked up at me, giving in to a full grin that had the power to knock a guy on his ass.
“Do you want to know the whole story or not?”
“Tell me,” I said as the doors opened and we exited into the lobby.
“So my grandmother—who is a manipulative delight—called me one afternoon, all upset because her widowed best friend was going to have to move to a nursing home because her kids wouldn’t let her live alone. She tells me all about this sweet lady who shouldnotbe forced to live in an institution, right? I mean, I’ve got tears in my eyes as she talks about this woman who is smart, fully mobile, and sharp, but is being sent away simply because she’s single.”
“Oh, God, she knows you well,” I said, which was odd because I didn’t really know her, yet I knew I was right. I held the door as we walked outside, and I pointed in the direction of where my truck was parked.
Sophie put her hands in her pockets and said, “She moves on and is like, ‘How are you doing with the expensive apartment and only one income?’ Because she knows that I kept Stuart’s apartment out of spite even though I totally can’t afford it. My apartment costs more than I make, but I’d rather die than let Stu win. I know it’s dumb, but I don’t care.”
I didn’t say anything, which made her glance over at me.
When I still didn’t say anything, she gave a nod, like she appreciated the lack of a lecture, and said, “So Nana Puppet Master waited a day, then called me with thebrilliantidea that her life insurance–rich buddy who loves cooking and cleaning could move in with me as a roommate, pay half of my rent, and quietly stay in their room without making any noise.”
I had to laugh at that. “Which one is the quiet one?”
She gave me a look. “Obviously neither, but this was Rose.”
“So how did Larry come into the picture?” I asked, genuinely curious now. I hit the unlock button on my truck and we got in.
“Larry drives Rose to bunco, and when he dropped her off and saw the place, he wanted to live there, too.”
“Of course he did.” I had a strong suspicion that Sophie tried to be a hard-ass but was actually pretty soft in the middle.
“Now,” she said, turning toward me in her seat as she buckled up. “Tell me everything I need to know about objecting.”
“Well, for starters,” I said, starting the truck and putting it into gear. “Take a deep breath and chill. It’s just a low-key thing where you say a couple sentences—that’s it.”
“Yeah, chill isn’t really my thing,” she said. “But I’ll try.”
—
“Do you think I should put the stress on the wordcheatingor the phrasethe entire time?”
I groaned. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.” I’d been driving for twenty minutes and Sophiehad been practicing, over and over again, since the minute we’d pulled away from her apartment. I could tell she was nervous, but memorizing it like a speech seemed like a bad idea to me. “It’s specifying whether the main issue is the fact that she cheated or that she never stopped cheating.”
“If it were me,” I said, “I’d just calmly blurt it out and move on. Because TJ knows it’s coming.”
“Show me,” was her reply. “Say it as if you were doing it.”
I sighed. “Fine. Lead me in.”
She cleared her throat. “If anyone here knows of any reason these two should not be married—”
“I do,” I interrupted. “I know for a fact that Callie has been cheating with Ronnie from day one and has never stopped, and I think TJ here deserves to know that.”
