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“I screwed up, Hayden. I did something stupid last night,” Roseline blurted out. “Something awful, terrible, horrible. So dumb. You have no idea.”
“Whoa, slow down now. What happened?”
Roseline took a deep breath. “You know I texted you about that new partner I’ve been working with, Callan? We were having a difficult time with the case and got drinks afterward to decompress. I had a few beers too many, apparently, and… I kissed him.”
“You kissed him?” Hayden repeated. “Well, can’t say I was expecting to hear that.”
“I know, I can’t believe I did it either,” Roseline groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “We were walking down the street together after leaving the pub, talking and about to say goodnight. I was a little buzzed and feeling relaxed. Then next thing I knew, my hands were on his cheek, and I was kissing him.”
Hayden gasped.
Roseline dropped her hands and stared at the floor. “It was so stupid. We’ve been careful to keep things professional so far. Now, I may have ruined everything by letting my guard down.”
Hayden was silent for a long moment, processing Roseline’s distressed confession. Then she asked, “So, why do you think it happened? The kiss?”
Roseline raised her head, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I don’t know. Too much alcohol lowered inhibitions. An ill-advised moment of impulse.” She sighed, shoulders slumping, embarrassment flooding her. “I don’t even know what came over me.”
“What do you mean?” Hayden pressed.
Roseline groaned. “It was like this feverish impulse took hold. I couldn’t stop myself from grabbing him. And the scary part is, he kissed me back instantly like he had been waiting for it, too. For a minute, it felt… right. More than right—perfect.” Her blush deepened at the memory of Callan’s strong arms encircling her, his lips exploring hers with equal fervor. She shook her head.
“Hmmm.” Hayden didn’t add anything else, but she studied Roseline. “Go on.”
“But I just keep thinking about everything that could go wrong now,” she fretted. “What if Callan expects more? Or resents me? Or files an HR complaint? I’ve jeopardized the case, not to mention my career.” She peered at Hayden anxiously. “I don’t know how to fix this. What was I thinking?”
Hayden tilted her head. “Sounds to me like the beer might have lowered those walls of yours, but the real culprit was an undeniable connection you told me about. I’m tempted to tease you to death about this, but I won’t. Chemistry like that doesn’t come around too often. I think a part of you recognized that, even if the more rational part is in panic mode now.”
Roseline shook her head. “It’s not a good idea.”
“Maybe.” Hayden held Roseline’s gaze. “Although the anxiety is understandable. I know you’ve been hurt before. But don’t let those old wounds make you close yourself off from everyone.”
Roseline tensed, defensive anger flaring unexpectedly. “I’m not damaged goods if that’s what you’re implying,” she snapped. “I don’t need a man to complete me or fix me or any of that bullshit.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy now,” Hayden said gently. “I would never imply you’re not a strong, independent woman. You know I admire that fierce spirit of yours. All I’m saying is, for all your success, you still seem lonely sometimes. Like you’re punishing yourself by staying isolated. And I worry because you deserve happiness.”
The fight drained from Roseline as quickly as it had come. She dropped her gaze, blinking back the tears stinging her eyes. “I’m scared, Hayden,” she admitted. “Scared that if I let someone in again, they’ll just hurt me. Callan seems like a good guy, but they all do at first. What if he turns out to be just another heartbreak? Another man who lies, cheats, betrays? I don’t think I could take it again. Not after Gerard.”
With a deep breath, she forced herself to meet Hayden’s compassionate gaze. Just saying those fears out loud seemed to release some of their chokehold on her heart.
Hayden gave an understanding smile. “I know, sweetie. You’ve endured more than your share of jerks and fools. But you have good instincts. Do you really get that vibe from Callan? That he’s just another womanizer looking to use you?”
Biting her lip, Roseline considered the question. She thought back to their conversations, both case-related and personal. Callan had never been anything but respectful, asking thoughtful questions and listening attentively to her expertise. He seemed genuinely dedicated to their mission of stopping the Game Master, not preoccupied with office politics or advancement. In contrast to some of the egotistical cops she dealt with, he had struck her as humble, reasonable, and kind.
“No,” she admitted. “My gut says he’s different. That’s part of why I let my guard down. And why I’m so afraid I’m wrong about him.”
“Well, that’s a start. You’re already miles ahead of those loser exes of yours,” Hayden said with an encouraging smile. Roseline gave a small, reluctant chuckle in response.
“Look, the man just transferred to the city. And from what you’ve said, he sounds driven, principled, and respectful. Not a mind game-playing type looking to use you as a conquest,” Hayden said. Her eyes bored into Roseline through the screen. “Honey, not every man is the enemy. The right partner can help heal those old wounds, not deepen them. Don’t let fear cost you a chance at something real.”
The firm conviction in her friend’s words resonated with Roseline. She felt the ice around her heart softening, just a fraction. Could Hayden be right? Was her resistance actually self-sabotage?
“Okay, suppose you have a point,” Roseline said. “But even if Callan is a decent guy, I still shouldn’t have kissed him. I need to stay professional if we’re going to work together.”
“No arguments there. That may have been a heat of the moment slipup,” Hayden conceded. “But the question now is, how are you going to handle it moving forward?” She raised an eyebrow. “Are you prepared to let awkwardness obstruct your partnership and your focus on the case? Or have an honest conversation to clear the air? And see what could be next?”
Roseline worried her lower lip between her teeth. Doubt and dread still twisted her guts into knots at the thought of facing Callan after her impulsiveness. But Hayden had a point—they needed to talk it out for the sake of their assignment.
“I guess I don’t have much choice,” she admitted. “We can’t jeopardize the investigation over personal complications. I’ll have to find a way to smooth things over with Callan.”
