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He moved closer, bending down while attempting to ignore the prickling of fear in his gut. “Put your arm around my neck, Pixie. I’ll carry you to my truck,” he requested gruffly.
Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head, taking a half step back. “You don’t have to do that, Doug. I’ll be fine.”
“I didn’t ask if you’d be fine,” he huffed. “Because I know you, and you won’t. Not really. Even though you’re putting on a good face. Now do as I ask. Please.” He swallowed his pride and beseeched her. “Let me have this, okay?” He gave her a crooked smile that he hoped looked better than it felt. “If we’re going tomove past our ‘friends’ stage, I need to start doing things like this to get my demons under control.”
Pixie regarded him solemnly. “You don’t want to wait until you see if Will’s treatment gives you some relief?”
“No. I don’t,” he responded honestly. “I want to make some progress on my own so I don’t feel like a complete loser.”
“You’re not a loser, Doug. Far from it,” she returned vehemently.
He chuffed, but nodded.
Pixie returned the gesture, then laid a hand on his chest.
Doug couldn’t help it. He gasped.
Immediately hearing his distress, Pixie snatched her fingers back. “I’m so sorry…” she began.
“No.” Doug gritted his teeth. “This is part of it. Part of what needs to happen.” He reached down and took her active hand, placing it back on his skin.
Breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth as Will had taught him, it took a minute of being physically connected to her, but he finally got himself back under control. It helped that Pixie hadn’t so much as twitched a finger.
“I’m good now,” he told her before boldly picking up her inactive arm and looping it onto his shoulder. “Now I’m going to lift you up so your good hip rests on me. If I hurt you, let me know.” He already knew Pixie wouldn’t. In his time with her, he’d seen that she could suck up any adversity and smile her way through it.
Which was his inspiration to turn up the corners of his mouth and fake it until he could make it.
He lifted, and…
With Pixie situated aloft, not a muscle quivering, Doug took a moment to stop and simply feel.
Pixie was warm, the skin of her thighs soft where they perched on his bare arm. She smelled…good. Nothing like thewomen who’d molested him in his youth. They’d all been weed-infused and patchouli drenched; the last, an odor that’d had him backing out of many a gift shop over the years.
But Pixie smelled clean. The lake had washed away the school scent he normally associated with her, so what he was sensing was all her. And he liked it. Doug took an additional few seconds to appreciate the sunshine freshness of her hair, then scoop her dress up off the sand. By the time he got his feet moving toward the cottage, his body had actually relaxed.
“You okay?” Pixie asked him tentatively.
He chuckled unexpectedly. “Surprisingly, yeah. I’m not sure why, but I don’t feel like passing out or throwing up.”
“That’s good, right?” she asked, her concerned eyes raising to his. “We’re already moving on from barfing?”
He laughed. An actual bark emanating from his chest. “We are, and…”Shit. Was he really thinking he might be able to…?
With her face turned up, all Doug could look at was her mouth. It was so close. So sweet.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he dipped down and gently placed his lips on hers. Briefly, but he managed a few seconds of connection before drawing back in awe.
Warmth. Goodness.He felt them both. As he swallowed, then got his feet moving again, something swelled inside his chest.
It was want. It was hope.
And it felt…right.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Pixie spent the night at her parents’ house, in her own bed, and when she awoke there—by herself—she lamented, but not much. She hadn’t figured she’d spend the night with Doug. Especially not in her childhood room, she giggled. Andhisnew home wasn’t ready for occupation. Even if it were, Doug was taking baby steps with her. Sure, they were gratifying andpromisingbaby steps that had her waking with a grin, despite the pain it caused her face.
He'd kissed her. And it had been…wonderful. It had taken every bit of her fortitude to remain still and not escalate the connection, but she was glad she hadn’t. Doug had seemed pretty damned pleased with himself, after.
