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"I think you'll do everything in your power to keep it from happening. But I still had to face the fear today, Gideon. We can't give over what we never face." I exhale a slow a breath. "I'm sorry I messed it up today. I wanted to tell you that I'm crazy about you. I can't imagine a future without you in it, but if you were to tell me that you're going to die tomorrow or next week or in five years, I wouldn't give up a single moment with you, either. I'd rather spend the rest of my life missing you than miss a single moment we could have spent together."
I know that's how my mom feels too. Maybe she's still a little broken. Maybe she always will be. But who said she had to be whole? Who said she had to get over my dad or learn to be perfectly okay without him? There is no rulebook for grief. There isn't one for life, either. We all just do the best we can and hope it's enough. But she had forty years with the love of her life. That's something special.
If I get even twenty with mine, I'll count myself blessed beyond measure and cherish every single one.
"Fuck," he breathes, pulling me closer. "You're killing me now, Sparrow. One sweet word at a time."
"Don't get too crazy on me now," I say, running my hands through his hair. "You're not allowed to die anytime soon. I'm just saying I'm learning to make peace with the fact that we can't live forever. Give me two hundred years or so. Then we'll talk."
"Oh, only two hundred or so? That's all you need?"
"I mean, it's a good start. Why? Think you make it to five hundred?"
"Depends." He runs his hands down my back, grabbing my ass. "Do I get to eat you for every meal?"
"That's probably not very nutritious, but sure, Marine. Knock yourself out."
He stands suddenly, making me squeal with laughter.
"I didn't mean now!"
"Too bad. I did." He grinds me against his erection before stomping toward the bedroom. Thank god it's only a few short feet away because I don't think either of us are going to make it very far. We barely make it two steps before we're a blur of hands, pulling off each other's clothes. They fall to the floor where we stand, creating a trail from the couch all the way to the bed.
By the time we're at the foot of it, his cock is in my hand and he has his hand down my pants. I writhe against his fingers, trying to jerk him off and get his pants off at the same time. It's no easy feat when he's strumming my clit like he knows exactly how to make me sing.
By the time I wrestle them down his legs, I'm already coming all over his fingers. I wriggle out of his arms, dropping to my knees in front of him.
"Ah, fuck," he growls, gathering up my hair in a fist. "You want to suck my cock, Sparrow?"
"Mmm. Yes, definitely." I wrap my fist around him again, leaning up to brush a kiss across the head. I taste the sticky, salty fluid and moan, pulling him into my mouth. He's only let me do this one before, and barely lasted two minutes before he was dragging me into his arms to make love to me.
He shouts my name, his hand tight in my hair as he tries like hell to stay still. I torture him, wicked and wild and free in a way I've never been. He did this to me. It's only fair that he pays the price for it.
I lick and suck, exploring every inch of him like he does me. I take him deep and then pull back only to start all over again. I can't even fit half of him in my mouth, but I try like hell anyway. My hands run up and down his legs. I fondle his balls. Scratch down the ridges of his abdomen.
I wreck him the same way he wrecks me. Every single time we're together, he ruins me. Over and over again. It's my turn this time. And I've always been a dedicated pupil.
"Goddamn, Sparrow," he groans, his eyes locked on the sight of his cock disappearing between my lips. "You look good with my dick in your mouth."
I take him deeper, holding his gaze. My eyes water but I don't pull back, I take more, choking on him.
He growls, his eyes wild with lust. "Do that again. Choke on my cock."
I plunge down again, taking him all the way to the back of my throat.
He curses up a blue streak as it closes around the head of his cock again. He yanks backward, expelling himself from my lips in one quick thrust.
"I wasn't done," I complain as he hauls me to my feet.
"Yeah, you are. I'm not coming down your throat. I'm coming in that perfect body." He drags my pants down my legs, taking my panties with them. Before I can say anything, he's got me bent over the foot of the bed, one hand sliding down the curve of my ass. "Legs apart, Sparrow. Hands on the bed."
I slide my legs apart, gripping the sheets.
He drops to his knees behind me.
Mine threaten to buckle when he attacks my pussy from behind with his wicked tongue. He pries my cheeks apart to get closer, growling and snarling as he eats me. Filthy sounds bounce around the room.
His hand comes down my cheek in a hard smack.
