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“You sounded adorable,” Elliot says quietly, grinning. I blush and smile at him.
“She was. And still is,” Ana says as she reaches over to pinch my cheek. I swat her hand away.
We finish our food, talking about either memories from high school or our experience so far in college.
“That was incredible, honestly. Thank you,” Elliot says as he helps Ana and me clean up from dinner.
“Thank you, I only know how to make a few things but I do make them really well.” I smirk at him, he chuckles and looks away.
Once we are done, Ana retreats to her room and leaves us alone.
“Come on.” I say as I tug him towards my room. He quietly follows me. Once in my room, he slowly looks around, taking everything in. He takes his time looking at each picture and smiling at them. I sit on my queen-sized bed and watch him walk around. He eyes my essential oil diffuser and looks at me.
“You’re one of those?” He jokes with a smile.
“It’s lavender! It’s calming!” I argue. He chuckles and then sits down on the edge of the bed. He looks unsure, even awkward.
“You can make yourself comfortable, you know.” I smile and I scoot back to the headboard and pat the spot next to me. “But don’t get any ideas, now.”
He looks at me with his intense gaze and then smiles. He gently kicks his boots off, and then scoots his big frame onto my bed. It is a little comical seeing him on my white ruffled bedspread amongst my colorful decorative pillows. He leans against my headboard and turns his head to look down at me.
“You have this…gift of easing my nerves and insecurities. Of…making me feel…instantly comfortable around you,” He says, slowly as struggles to find the right words.
“Good. I’m glad.” I grin at him. He reaches over to push a piece of hair behind my ear. My heart picks up. Sigh. “How is your grandmother?” I ask tentatively.
“She had a good week,” He answers with a nod. “Her nurse comes by each day to help her, and she had a good report to give me this weekend.”
“That’s great!” I say with a smile. “Did you tell her all about me?”
“I did,” He confirms with a sneaky little grin. “We don’t talk too much in general, but I did tell her about you.”
“Good.” I bump him with my shoulder. We scoot down so we’re both lying down; he turns his body towards me and I mirror him so we are both lying on our sides a few inches apart. It feels like both of us are breathing a little heavy and ragged.
“Do you…remember the first time…you introduced yourself to me?” He asks. I think back to that memory that would forever be ingrained in my mind.
I groan. “Yeah, you didn’t say anything, and you looked at me awkwardly for like four hours. Why?” I ask, curiously. He chuckles.
“It was obviously…my first day of school…in a new school…new town.” He starts. He clears his throat lightly. “I was nervous. I had just lost my mom, just moved in with my grandmother. As I was leaving…to get on the bus for school that day…I could tell, my grandmother didn’t know what to say or do.”
I wait patiently and intently for him to continue. Before he does, he reaches over and takes my hand, rubbing his finger over my freshly painted nails.
“These look nice by the way,” He comments quietly. I smile, a little spark of happiness shoots through me that he noticed my nails. He continues, absentmindedly drawing a small heart on my wrist with his index finger, “I remember standing in the kitchen, in front of her. Hoping that she would…say something...anything. She finally looked at me and said, ‘when you don’t know what else to do, follow your heart. It will lead the way.’”
“That’s really sweet.” I say softly with a smile.
“She doesn’t speak much, but when she does it’s usually stuff…like that. Somewhat cryptic…but meaningful too. Honestly, I wanted to roll my eyes at her because it was so cheesy.” He pauses for a moment. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to find the words. I squeeze his hand and smile in encouragement to continue.
“You…walked up to me. So confident. So beautiful. I wasn’t sure…you were real at first.” He looks at me with his dark eyes, with the intensity that only he is capable of. The intensity that used to scare me, unnerve me. But now it feels so good to be seen so powerfully. “You said your name was ‘Madeline Hart’.” He pauses, looks down at our hands and swallows before looking back at me. “It was like every…every other sound went away. I kept hearing ‘Madeline Hart’ over and over in my head. And…I remembered my grandmothers’ words, to follow my heart.”
My mouth parts in surprise, awe; my breathing hitches.
“I was so shocked, confused even. I thought it was a crazy coincidence, that your last name is Hart. But even then…as a punk-ass 15 year old kid…I knew you were more. It scared me.” He shakes his head and smiles a little. “I couldn’t even find the words to say ‘hi’ back to you. The thought of…shaking your hand and touching you, was overwhelming in that moment. And when you looked at me like I was a moron and you walked away, I knew I blew it. From that moment on…I just didn’t know how to act around you,” He finishes. He looks down at our hands for a moment again before looking back up at me.
I look at him. This time it is me who is speechless. I can’t find the words to express what I am feeling inside. Then, like a beautiful and warm weight settling in my chest, I know exactly what I want to say, but I shove those words down deep. I know this isn’t the time.
It is too early. It has to be.
I know that if I say the words I want to say, the only words that would accurately describe this indescribable feeling, the words that I know with every fiber of my being are completely true, he will run for the hills.
