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“Such an honor.” She smiles and I tickle her foot again. “Stop!” She cries, but I grab her ankle to tickle her more. She tries to scramble away, breathless with laughter but ends up fighting back. She tries to put me in a headlock but her tiny arms hold very little to no strength. After a few seconds of that, she ends up sitting in my lap. We both realize the position we are in at the same time and stoplaughing.
“I’m sorry,” I say quickly but she just stares at me, breathing fast. She doesn’tmove. Instead, she lifts her hands slowly to my face. I hold my breath, trying not to make any sudden movement to scare her off.
She gently holds my face with her hands. “I like your beard.”
“Thank you,” I say breathless. I keep it trimmed fairly close to my face, because I know that’s how she likesit.
“Can I kiss you?” She whispers. My heart thumps so loudly I am certain she can hear it. I can’t find the words to speak so I nod enthusiastically, my breath shaky.
She leans in slowly, her chest pressing against mine. She keeps my face between her hands and looks into my eyes with nervousness and desire. I can see her chest rising and falling. My mouth parts, and I try to take in her scent.
She closes her eyes and lightly touches her lips to mine. I feel a shock go through my body the moment our lips meet. She gasps lightly into my mouth which makes me think she felt it too.
She kisses me slowly, cautiously. I do the same. I want to devour her, show her how much I love and miss her; but I reign in my own wants. We stay like this for a while. Her cautious exploration turns into more and she isrunning her hands through my hair, clutching me to her. I run my hands down her back, stopping at her waist, pulling her against me.
A few more moments pass before she breaks the kiss and leans her forehead against mine. “Wow,” She whispers.
“Yeah,” I respond, barely breathing. I stroke my thumbs lightly against her back.
“I don’t think I’m…ready to…” She starts, still keeping our foreheads together. She doesn’t continue but pulls away to look at me with an apology in her eyes. I shake my head.
“Mads, please don’t worry. I’ll be ready when you are…if you’re ever ready. If not, that’s okay too. I’m happy to watch movies with you and rub your feet for the rest of our lives,” I say sincerely, not breaking our eye contact.
She looks at me intensely for a moment before smiles and pulls her head back some more. I smile back. “I’m beginning to see what all of the fuss is about.”
“Fuss?” I raise my eyebrow questioningly.
“About us. About you.” She smirks. “What everyone has told me about.”
I sigh. “Oh yeah…” She laughs and climbs off me but doesn’t go far. She curls up next to me and lays her head on my chest. I put my arm around her and tug her closer, rejoicing in the feeling of being close to her.
We watch TV for a while, but we talk occasionally. She traces my heart tattoo which just makes me smile. She finally asks about them and I tell her the whole story. She smiles through it all.
“I think that’s my favorite story so far,” She declares while she keeps tracing my heart. I grin down at her.
“Yeah, that’s a good one,” I agree.
“What’s your favorite memory of us?” She asks, looking up at me. I rub my hand up and down her arm.
“Oh man…I don’t think I can choose just one favorite…” I know my favorite is the first night we made love, but I don’t think it is best to bring that up at this very moment. “I love the time I first stayed the night; we had only been together a few days but it felt like a lifetime.”
She nods, remembering what I had told her.
I continue, “The night we got engaged was incredible, too. Our wedding of course. Meeting your parents for the first time.” I pause thoughtfully. “I could probably name every single memory of ours and consider it a favorite.” She smilessoftly, a little sadly. While I know that she is starting to enjoy hearing about our memories, she still wishes she could remember them for herself.
“How did you propose?” She asks.
I look down at her. “I thought Ana would have told you?”
“I didn’t want her to.” She looks down, cheeks pink with shame.
“It’s okay, Mads,” I reassure her. She looks up with a sweet smile. “It was our last night in your apartment. We were moving everything out the next day, and most of your stuff was packed away,” I say. “It wasn’t anything special. My grandmother had given me her wedding ring, asking that I do whatever I had to do with it to make it perfect for you. So I had it altered just a little bit, until it was something I knew you would love. We were laying in your bed, in your room where we had so many incredible moments together and it just felt like the perfect time. Since I had been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks, I pulled it out and told you how much I loved you. I told you that my future was you, wherever that would be. I told you that I would follow you anywhere and that all I wanted in this life was to be with you, to be yours forever. Then I asked you to marry me,” I told her. I watch as her eyes fill with tears.
“That sounds beautiful,” She says as a few tears slip down her face. “I wish I could remember that.”
My heart breaks again, for probably the millionth time. “I’m so sorry.”
She gives me a small smile.
