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Elliot drives us in my car to my parents’ house.I am sick of driving. I text them and warn them not to push him too hard. Once we get there, he takes my hand and walks us to the front door. It is already open and my parents are waiting for us
Without saying a word, they both come over and pull Elliot into their arms. I can see Elliot’s shoulders shaking, silently crying. He allows them to hold him, crying freely and letting his emotions out. He isn’t a stranger to being hugged by them, especially my mom. But he always lets it happen to be polite. I know hugging and physical touch can sometimes make him uncomfortable. Now though, he looks like he is cherishing this hug like a boy who hasn’t had enough of them in his life. Like a boy who needs to feel the warmth of a parents embrace, because it was something he never had, but something he always wanted. I marvel at the growth he has made. When they eventually let him go, he shakes his head, lifting an arm to scrub his face.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left. I’m so sorry I did that to Mads, and to you. You didn’t deserve that,” Elliot says, looking between them both.
“We’re just glad you came back home, sweetheart,” My mom says and reaches up to pat his cheek. He hangs his head and closes his eyes tightly.
My parents motion us to come inside. My mom has mugs of coffee ready on the kitchen island and we sit and drink.
“You are too kind to me,” He says softly.
“You are a good man, Elliot. We’re proud to have you as a part of this family,” My dad says, patting his arm. “There is no one else for our daughter.”
Elliot drops his head in his hands and rubs his face before looking at them. “Thank you. For…for everything,” He says quietly.
“We love you, son,” My dad says. Elliot’s shoulders relax as he sighs. He looks at them, then me, then back at them.
He shakes his head, almost in disbelief before he says, “I love you both, too. Thank you.”
We drive to the cemetery so Elliot can have a proper goodbye with his grandmother. We get out of the car, pulling our jackets against us to fight off the cool air. We walk silently towards the resting places of his mother and grandmother.Once we reach the simple gray stone that bears her name, Elliot crouches down low and runs his fingers over the letters etched into the rock.
“Thank you for everything, Ma,” He says quietly. The only other sound is the soft wind whistling through the trees close by. “Thank you for taking me in. For setting me on a better path.”
I look up to the sky and try to hold my tears at bay.
“Thank you for telling me to follow my heart,” He whispers. I put my hand on his shoulder and give him a little squeeze. “I love you, Ma. I’ll miss you.”
Elliot stays silent for a few moments before standing up and walking a few steps to his mother’s grave. He quietly looks at it. I follow behind him a few steps away, wanting to give him some space.
“I forgive you, mom. For everything,” He says, in a low but strong voice. My tears can’t be held back anymore and they spill from my eyes. Elliot takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky.
Eventually he turns to me and pulls me close to him, holding me to his chest. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. “I forgave my dad, too.” He whispers. “I know he doesn’t care and doesn’t even know that I did it. But I’m sick of holding on to all of that hatred and anger.” He takes a deep breath. “Everything I’ve gone through, even all of the bad, led me to you. I’m nothing but grateful now.”
My tears are running down his jacket now. “I’m so proud of you,” I whisper. His arms tighten.
“Thank you, Mads. For everything, every single thing,” He says, kissing my head.He pulls his arms away and holds onto my hand. “Let’s go home,” He says.
FORTY
ELLIOT, NOW
“What do you mean you remember?” I ask in a whisper. I sit up straight, looking at her. She looks at me with a faraway look.
“I think…I remember that night…I was lying on the couch…you knocked on the door. You smelled so bad,” She says breathlessly. “And I remember our apartment, I think. Not just because you brought me there…but I remember the couch in the living room…”
“Madeline!” I cry, in shock. “You remember! W-what else do you remember?”
She shakes her head. “I…I don’t know…I remember…we went to my parent’s house and then the cemetery again?” She looks up at me to see if she is right. I nod.
“Yes!” I can’t believe she is starting to remember. “It’s okay if you don’t, but do you remember anything else?”
“I don’t know, it’s still blurry when I try to think about everything…but that just got so clear…” She looks at me, her eyes watering. “I remembered.”
I pull her to me. She crawls into my lap and holds me so tight it would have been painful if she had any kind of upper body strength.
“That’s amazing, Mads. That’s incredible!” I say to her. I feel her nod her head against me.
“I don’t need my memories to love you…but I hope they keep coming back. I want to remember everything.”
