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“No.” I sigh. I look at her, expecting a scolding, but I should know better because she only gives me an understanding expression.
“How have your parents been?” she asks.
“Same. Nothing new. Except for Isa bringing home a new boyfriend the other weekend, which marks the fourth guy she has claimed to be dating since she started school this semester.”
Maddie laughs at that. “Oh, Isa.” She sighs now. “She keeps us on our toes.”
“Mom and Dad would love to see you soon,” I tell her. She nods in agreement.
“I have to go visit, it’s been too long since I’ve seen everyone,” Maddie tells me. “I need to plan a trip home soon anyway, I’ll let you know when so maybe we can travel together.”
“Sounds good.” I lean on the railing, careful where I put my weight. There are just a few more things to do until the porch is finished. Elliot has been repairing it with the help of David and a few neighbors who came over offering advice and conversation. Poor Elliot looked like he wanted to crawl under said porch. He’s come a long way, but he is still hopelessly introverted at heart. Talking to people he just meets is still difficult for him.
Maddie stands next to me, a little bit taller due to me hunched over the railing. She scoots closer, pulling me in and resting her head on my head.
“How are you today?” she whispers.
“Okay,” I whisper back, the lie coating my tongue—it feels thick and heavy, but it's a taste I’m used to now. What was once a foreign flavor is now normal. Little white lies get me through the days. I feel her nod, knowing she senses that lie. She always does.
“I love you. I’m here for you,” she reminds me. I close my eyes and focus on her warm arms holding me tight. A few tears slip down my cheek.
“I know. I love you, too,” I say back, my voice cracking slightly.
The front door opens behind me and I move to stand up straight, Maddie’s arms falling from around me. I don’t turn around immediately, but wipe my face and take a few small breaths to compose myself.
“You about ready to head out, Mads?” I hear Elliot ask.
“Yes, let me grab my phone charger from inside real quick.” I hear her footsteps retreating behind me before another arm wraps around me.
He doesn’t say anything. He knows better than to ask if I’m okay. He knows that I already know that they’re here for me. So Elliot just offers a silent reassurance of his love and support, squeezing my shoulder once before letting go and walking away.
I take another deep breath before turning around and notice David standing a few steps away looking toward me, his face full of concern and curiosity. I quickly duck my head, cutting off our eye contact. I move forward, walking past him and down the steps. I stop walking, realizing that I forgot my bag inside. I turn around and run into a hard-chested David.
“I’m sorry,” I say, stepping back a few steps. But I see my bag hanging from his hand.
“It’s okay,” he says with an easy smile. “I grabbed your bag for you.” He extends it towards me and I take it from him.
“Oh, thank you,” I tell him earnestly and look up at him. His eyes are warm, still filled with that concern and curiosity.
“No problem,” he says, one side of his mouth quirking up into a small smile. I look at him for a few moments longer, wondering if he’ll try to make more conversation. But he doesn’t. He just continues to hold our eye contact. I feel my face heat as my chest fills with an odd warmth that feels like a stark contrast to the harrowing cold that now permanently resides there.
I hold that eye contact a moment longer. “Bye, David,” I say.
“Bye, Ana,” he says just as softly, shoving his hands into his pockets. I walk backwards a step before turning around and walking to my car. I glance back after I open my door and see that he’s still standing there, watching me leave.
THIRTEEN
NOW, FALL
I’m running a bit late to therapy today.
I usually get out of work at the perfect time to get to Naomi’s early for our session. But Evan and I got caught up in preparations with our project team as we are working on a company’s new logo. The deadline for the new logo reveal is getting closer and closer, and we lost track of time when we were discussing plans. It didn’t help that the company’s CEO wanted a last minute font change, which had to be altered on every document—their website and social media pages included—that had already been prepared.
As I round the corner to Naomi’s hallway, I see her door is open and waiting for my arrival.
“I’m so sorry, Naomi. I lost track of time at work,” I say, while walking in and straight to the couch in the bright room. I sit down, placing my bag at my feet. I look up and find Naomi smiling at me, not her normal kind and understanding smile, but a smile that looks like she is happy? Proud?
“What?” I ask, my voice sounding accusatory.
