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“Let’s just get this over with.” She swings her leg over the other side to straddle the seat, pulling on my camo. Her arms cross over her stomach, trying to keep herself warm, while I attach my rifle to the 4-wheeler and climb on the seat in front of her.
“You’re going to have to hold on to me. The ride is rough and I don’t want you falling.” I unzip the pockets of my base layer, glad I had it on under my jacket even though it wasn’t that cold today. “Put your hands in here,” I motion to my sides, “it might help a little to keep them warm.” I turn the ignition and the engine fires up, at the same time her hands slide into my pockets. I can feel them through the fleece lining, and I’m painfully aware of how low they rest on my abdomen.
“Hold on tight!” I project over the noise of the engine. Her fingers flex and her palms flatten against me, holding on tighter. Releasing the clutch, I start towards home going as fast as I can with her on the back. If I was alone I’d be pushing the throttle but it’s hard for a passenger to anticipate the movement the quad makes across the terrain. She’s weak already, one sharp turn could throw her off the back.
I cut across an access road and continue on trails that lead back to my cabin. I can feel her head tucked between my shoulder blades, blocking her face from the sharp wind. Her nails are digging into my stomach and her legs are squeezing the outsides of mine, holding onto me. This is probably taking a toll on her but the sooner we get back the better.
It takes about 15 minutes, but we finally arrive at the bottom of my property, and the steep driveway leading to my cabin. I reach behind my back and wrap my arm around her torso as we ascend my driveway, making sure she doesn’t lose to gravity and fall backward. It also makes me aware of how much I like having my arm around her.
The driveway levels out bringing us to the clearing that my home sits on. A large yard surrounds my custom post and beam cabin, all of it surrounded by the thick woods that cover this mountain. It’s a small home, meant for a loner like me. A wrap-around porch sits on three sides, a stone chimney taking up the fourth.
The small pole barn in the back is normally where I park the four-wheeler, but I can feel how tense she is under my arm. I need to get her inside now, so I pull right up to the front steps.
I cut the ignition, finally letting go of her, but I still feel the vibration of the engine against my back. Except, it’s not the engine, it’s Callie clinging to me, trembling from head to toe.
Shit.
Chapter Nine
Callie
I can’t stop shaking. Every muscle in my body is locked up and I can’t move. I don’t know if it’s because of my wet clothes or straining to hold onto Nathan for so long, but I can’t let go of him. I can’t move my limbs. I don’t even feel him stop or turn off the engine. He’s patting my hands that are still stuffed inside his pockets. I faintly realize that I am clawing into his stomach but I can’t uncurl my fingers.
I feel him carefully pull one hand out at a time, loosening my grip by gently rubbing the pads of my palms. He climbs off his seat and carefully lifts me in his arms, cradling me against his chest as he had before. I am not aware enough of my surroundings to take in the details of his cabin, but I feel him bound up a couple of steps and maneuver me just enough to get his front door open. The only thing I notice is the warmth against my cheeks as we enter.
I lose the feeling of his arms as he sets me down on the ground in front of a fireplace. I’ve never had tunnel vision but I imagine this is what it looks like, the edges of my vision are blurry and I can’t make out any details around me. All I can focus on is the faint glow in front of me getting brighter and warmer. My body is still shivering so hard that my teeth are chattering, and my eyelids are becoming painful to keep open.
I start drifting in and out of sleep, fighting to stay awake but losing. I’m dizzy from trying to stay conscious, my head feels like it’s swimming. I can’t tell if what’s in front of me is real or if I’m dreaming. My fatigue is playing tricks on me.
I’ve never been this affected by exhaustion before, it’s worse than being drunk. At least after drinking too much, you can blame yourself for being careless. You lay in bed with the insufferable spins, cursing that last shot of tequila your friend ordered. You swear you’ll never do it again, you’ll stop drinking so much, but a week later those thoughts are long forgotten.
This feeling is more akin to death. If someone told me this is what it feels like to drift to sleep for the final time, only to wake up next in whatever your version of heaven or hell is, I’d believe them. My brain no longer feels connected to my body. My consciousness is floating above me, looking down on me instead of from within.
I’m jostled slightly, pulling me from the depths of my fatigue. I recognize the jerky movements, the unmistakable tugging of my pants being pulled from my body. What’s happening? Why are my pants being pulled off?
“No, NO, no no…” I mumble or yell, I can’t tell. It’s like déjà vu, Bub’s attacking me and all I can do is cry out, feeling helpless to stop what’s happening to me. My breaths come out in gasps as if I’m suffocating, face down in the dirt again.
“I’m sorry, Callie, I’m sorry but I have to get the wet clothes off or you’ll keep shivering. Fuck, I’m sorry,” Nathan apologizes, over and over. His words are distant at first, fuzzy, but slowly become clearer and clearer as he continues apologizing, and continues talking me through what he’s doing.
I sob in relief once the fog clears and I realize it’s Nathan here with me, not Bub or Tony. In my haze I forgot where I was, I forgot I was safe. I let the tears fall, not caring to wipe them away. I don’t care that I am naked from the waist down. I don’t care that I am a trembling mess, I’m safe. I’m safe.
As quickly as my shoes, socks, and pants leave my body, I’m wrapped in a giant blanket. I relax as he slowly tucks the entirety of the blanket around me, cocooned from my neck to my feet, enveloped in the warmth my body desperately needed.
I can already feel the shivers easing, my body melting into a pile of goo on the floor. I turn my head away from the fire for the first time since laying here and watch as Nathan continues tucking the blanket under my legs. He seems to be deeply concentrated like he’s afraid one gap of cold air will send me into hypothermic shock. His face is hard, his mouth downturned at the corners, worry lines creasing his forehead. He briefly flashes his eyes in the direction of my face, stalling his movements when he realizes I am looking back at him.
“Callie, I…” He stops like he isn’t sure what to say, another apology forming on his lips.
“Thank you for saving me, Nathan,” I whisper. He moves his mouth like he is going to respond, but doesn’t say anything. His brows are furrowed, worry still etched across his features.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he finally says, “I need you to know that. I just wanted to get your wet clothes off.”
“I believe you,” I quickly respond. “I just forgot where I was, I thought… I thought you were one of them for a second. But, I’m okay, I promise.”
“Did they…” He starts hesitantly but doesn’t have to finish his sentence, I know what he’s asking.
“No. One of them tried, but I sliced his face open,” I say it with as much pride as I can muster, which isn’t much in my current state of drowsiness.
It’s barely there, but he smiles, just the small uptick of one side of his mouth. Shaking his head, he lets out a quiet laugh, not hiding his amusement. “Good girl.”
