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“You get nightmares about the night he died?” She asks. I hesitate, not sure what to say.
“Sometimes. Sometimes it’s about other things.” I leave it at that, not wanting to talk about my other demons, but willing to tell her if she asks. She doesn’t, and I’m grateful.
Instead, she jumps up and stands in front of the fireplace on the brick hearth. The fire’s not lit, so it’s not hot. She turns to face me, looking carefree and happy, and as gorgeous as I’ve ever seen her. Instantly lifting the heavy atmosphere from around us.
“When you’re ready,” she sounds enthusiastic, and the contagiousness of it is appreciated after such a dark topic. “You should put your pictures up here. It’d be perfect, you could put Chester here, and your team pictures here and here,” she says, indicating to each spot on the mantle as she goes.
“Then you need a picture of your mom and sister, or I’m sure they’ll be disappointed.” She finishes with her hands on her hips. I smile at her, enjoying her enthusiasm and how lighthearted she is.
“But that leaves one empty gap,” I point to one spot she hadn’t filled with her imagination, teasing her.
She thinks for a second, “I guess you’ll need a picture of me too.” She shrugs, “So you’ll remember me always.” She flutters her eyelashes, feigning innocence. I laugh, a real full belly laugh, incredibly entertained by her whole display.
“I’m offended!” She scoffs, jokingly, I can see the smile in her eyes.
“I don’t need a picture to remember you,” I joke. “You’re too hard to forget.”
She squints her eyes at me, “I don’t know if you mean that as a good thing or not.”
I laugh again, “Good. Definitely, good.” I grin at her, watching the smile that spreads across her face.
I take the last drink of my beer, remembering that her lips were just on it. Her eyes linger on the bottle at my mouth, like she realizes it too. The playfulness we were feeling suddenly dissipated, replaced by something thicker.
“I’ll never forget you either, Nathan,” she admits quietly.
Both of us know that our situation is temporary. We’re two strangers that weren’t supposed to cross paths, that have two separate lives, in two different states. Even the likelihood that we could continue being friends over long distance seems unlikely.
Mostly because I’m never going to be content being just friends with Callie. If I ever had to see her with another man, I think I’d lose it, and I have no right. I have no right to be possessive of someone who isn’t mine. It’ll be better for both of us if we completely sever ties once she’s safe to go home. We can go back to living our separate lives, even though the thought of that kills me. I’d never want her to feel guilty leaving behind a guy like me, forcing herself to maintain a friendship because I saved her life.
I move to stand in front of her. She’s still standing on the hearth making her taller than normal, but I barely have to look up to meet her eyes. I cup her cheek with my hand, hoping it’s not the last time but scolding myself for touching her again when I keep telling myself not to.
My thumb brushes her cheekbone. “You should. Forget me and this whole damn mountain. You deserve nothing but happy memories in this beautiful head of yours.”
She pinches her eyebrows together but doesn’t say anything. Her eyes are filled with so much endearment, it’s hard to believe it could be directed toward a guy like me. I’m inches away from kissing her, her eyes dance across my face landing on my lips, silently giving me permission when she leans just a centimeter closer to me. Even though the temptation is unbearable, I can’t do it. Even though everything in me is telling me to take the leap, I back away.
“I’m gonna take a shower, you can stay out here and watch TV if you want.” Like a coward, I flee from the living room. Leaving the girl of my dreams in my wake.
I’m doing the right thing by not crossing a line. Right? So, why do I feel like a fucking asshole every time I walk away from her?
I’m either making the biggest mistake of my life, or I’m just a pussy who doesn’t know how to handle his emotions. That’s probably all it is. I keep telling myself that as I go into my bathroom and punish myself with scalding hot water.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Callie
What the hell just happened? The roller coaster of emotions that went through me in the last few minutes has my head spinning. I plop down on the couch and stare at the ceiling. We had such a nice evening, really getting to know each other and laughing. I got real genuine laughs out of Mr. Serious. The second it seemed like he might actually cross over the proverbial line we both walk on, he doused us with water. Snuffing out the flames.
I saw the heat in his eyes when he looked at me, and then the way he actively put the wall back up between us. I’m confused, and kind of hurt. Our teasing back and forth had felt flirtatious, at least to me, but maybe I read it all wrong again. He’s had bad things happen in his life, there’s a chance he doesn’t have room in his heart to have feelings for me. I’ve so easily fallen for him, but he might not want me at all.
I wish I could stop thinking about him, but it’s hard to do when you’re stuck in the same cabin. Not that I want to go anywhere else, that’s the last thing I want.
I blow a hair off my face, not sure what to do now. The TV is showing the news, though the sound was muted a while ago and with no clue where the remote is, I can only watch as it switches between segments. I lean my head back against the couch, looking off to the side toward the front window. The living room lights are dim, still allowing me to see outside into the yard. It’s incredibly dark though, the glow of the moon only making the trees that surround the property faintly visible. It’s eerie how isolated it is up here, with no one around for miles. It’s definitely not a place I could ever live alone. Nathan must not be afraid of what lurks in the night but, me, I’m afraid of the dark.
Even looking out into it from the safety of the cabin is putting me on edge. I imagine how much worse it would’ve been if Tony and Bub took me closer to dark, and if I would have had to escape into the woods at night. It’s hard to believe I could be any more terrified than I was, but being chased through the forest in the pitch black would definitely have been worse. I sigh, still in denial that yesterday happened.
I’ve watched true crime documentaries, and I’ve seen news articles about people being abducted, but I’ve never believed it could happen to me. Of course, now it’s even worse that the town I ended up in has a Sheriff who may or may not be related to the guys that took me. UGH!
I’m not sure how all of this can be resolved, but I am glad to have Nathan in my corner. Thank goodness for small miracles.
